Something I read today

So I figured that I would go back to doing my devotions.. I sorta slacked off when I got Kay. When i first got here I was able to read my bible and pray every morning.. but now with Kay, I would instead use that time to play with her. But I've decided to change that habit. Kay is fine with sitting on my lap as a read.. so now we can work on that together.
I am learning that I need to CLING to God a lot more. I am so STRETCHED here. I find it hard to pull the pieces back together when something happens..
Like yesterday.. Ms. Lee pulled out the "disappointed".. and when I disappoint someone.. well that really gets me down. I felt pretty blue.. and didn't know what to do to get myself back up to par. I find it hard to do that because of the whole stretched thing. And I am seeing that when I am stretched out, I need to go to God, so that He can fix things. When I was first here, I was clinging so much to Him because I was scared, over-whelmed and alone.. now I am comfortable here.. so yet again, I relax my clinging.
Its a new year... so I have gotten myself a gym membership.. told myself no more snacks, just fruit, and will hopefully get back to my Devotions daily.
Today I was reading something, and I will post it after this opening... It was about the worries of life.. and the fact that we let them get us so down. We need to find joy. The biggest thing that got me in this, was that she said, we might not be able to find joy in our daily life, but we can always find Joy in our Heavenly Father. I often forget that. I focus on the worries of the day, like not getting my work done, or letting people down, or just feeling drained.. that I lose my joy... but I am looking in the wrong place.... So that is my reminder for the day...
The devotional I read is from a site called "Girlfriends in God"... its sorta writen for women, but I think this applies to everyone...
Winning Over Worry, Part 1 Mary Southerland
Today's Truth "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4-7 (NIV)
Friend to Friend The holidays are a very difficult time for many people -- for many reasons. Following the thrill of the Christmas holidays and New Year's celebrations, reality starts to sink in. The credit card bills arrive. The sun disappears and long, dark days string together like a heavy, suffocating blanket. Already broken resolutions for the New Year mock our commitment to discipline and the darkness of depression makes us want to crawl back in bed, to pull the covers over our head and wait for a better life to come along. Those feelings are all too familiar.
In 1995, I went through a devastating two year battle with clinical depression. While sitting at the bottom of that deep, dark pit, I discovered many truths and learned many lessons. One of the most important lessons is that the pit of depression is always full of waters swimming with worry. I worried about how I got into the pit and how I would or even if I could get out. I worried that depression would affect my family and our ministry. I worried about what people would think of me when they saw my weakness and failure.
In the darkness, worry made everything seem bigger and uglier than it really was! Worry helped usher me into the pit and worry was now one of the prisons guards. I desperately wanted to trust God, exchanging my worry for His peace. I read countless books on the subject, described in detail my favorite worries to those who would listen and constantly begged God to take away the anxiety and fear. Nothing worked. I was losing the battle with worry while sinking lower into the grip of darkness. There had to be a way to win over worry!
The journey began with a strong, clear look at the affects of worry in my life. It wasn't a pretty picture. Worry permeates every area, invading peace, warping perspectives and impacting physical and emotional health.
I am reminded of the man hospitalized because of anxiety. For hours, he pressed his ear up against the wall, listening intently. When the nurse came in to check on him, he whispered a warning and called her over, motioning for her to be quiet. The nurse pressed her ear up against the wall and listened for a long time. "I can't hear a thing!" she finally said. "I know", the man replied. "It's been like that all day!"
Worry is wasted energy. It is consuming, draining and unhealthy. Worry fits this world but certainly does not fit the picture of a joy-filled life, the life that Jesus came to give us. Nothing will rob you of joy quicker than worry. God came so that we would not have to worry and yet we continue to do so. During those dark years, I sat at His feet dumping each fear and worry into His capable hands, resting and waiting for deliverance. It came.
In the key passage, Paul gives us the promise of peace. However, there are conditions to be met and actions we must take in order to experience that peace and win over worry!
Action one: Choose joy
Philippians 4:4 "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" The Message says it this way: "Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him!"
The author, Paul, is serious about joy, telling us twice in this passage to rejoice! The word "rejoice" means "to practice joy, to take delight in and be glad". Many times, life makes it impossible to be happy but we need to understand that happiness is not what Paul is calling us to. Happiness is a cheap imitation of true joy and totally dependent on the circumstances of life. Joy, however, is a deeply rooted confidence that God is in control no matter what the circumstances of life may be. Joy is a choice.
Paul's situation, while writing this letter, could make you wonder why he was even writing about joy, of all things. He was in prison under Roman house arrest, awaiting trial and almost certain execution because of his faith in Jesus Christ. Yet, he tells us to rejoice! Don't miss this! What Paul is really telling us is a life-changing truth! Our inner attitudes do not have to reflect our outward circumstances. In other words, we cannot always find joy in our circumstances but we can always find joy in the Lord of the circumstances.
You have probably discovered that there is absolutely no way in this world to escape pain, but we can avoid joy. The pursuit of joy is a matter of choice. Our first and most important choice is to come to the only source of true joy - Jesus Christ. We must also choose to rejoice in the midst of every circumstance - good or bad -- and keep our focus on God, gladly accepting His plan for our lives. We must choose a joyful perspective. A little boy asked his friend. "Wouldn't you hate to wear glasses all the time?" "No-o-o," the other boy answered slowly, "not if I had the kind grandma wears. She sees how to fix a lot of things. She sees lots of nice things to do on rainy days and she always sees what you meant to do even if you mess things up! I asked her one day how she could see that way all the time and she said, 'It is the way I choose to look at things.' So it must be her glasses." When we choose joy, we are choosing against worry!
Let's Pray
Father, I feel as if worry constantly nips at my heels, trying to steal my joy. Help me to see life as You see it and to choose Your perspective instead of my own. Lead me into Your peace as I learn to trust You wholly.In Jesus' name, I pray Amen.
Now It's Your Turn
Make a list of the five things you worry about the most. Find a verse or passage of scripture that applies to these five areas of worry. Write the verses on a 3x5 card and place the cards in your purse so that when the worry comes, you are prepared.
Look back over your life.
What role have you allowed worry to play in daily life?
What are some of the ways you have confronted worry in the past? Were they effective?
What is the first step you need to take in order to win over worry?

Christmas In Korea

So if the world is wonder what my Christmas was like here in Korea.. I will write about it
Yes, I was sick the past week.. so much of the past time passed quickly and was to fuzzy to make sense. I had a pretty major fever on Christmas Eve, and spent the day in bed
My Christmas was nice though. I woke up and was no longer sick.. no more fever at least. I still felt a little off. But I got together with a group of foreigners in my building and we had a christmas lunch and a gift exchange, so i did receive a present on Christmas... even wrapped :P
But the biggest thing i have to admit, is that I enjoyed a Christmas like that.
I liked the fact that I was not surrounded by consumerism this year. That I wasnt encouraged to shop shop shop and buy things for people, that perhaps they dont really need. I liked not feeling like the whole day was just about gifts and the stuff we get.
Think about this. The US spends 450 Billion dollars A YEAR on Christmas.. and it would cost 10 billion dollars to give the world water.. forever.
But we keep on spending so much.
And even now, when the world is in recessions, we still find something to complain about in that. When we can't live on 15 dollars an HOUR but some people live on 2 dollars a DAY.
Can you see how sharp the contrast is there??????
I dont get it sometimes. I want to do so much more... and yet I still have the western lifestyle. I still have debts that I have to pay off.. and that means I need the well paying job to get the government to leave me alone. And if I have the well paying job, then I have to be able to dress the part, which means spending more. And if I have the well paying job and the nice clothes, then I should probably have a car to get to my job. And I should leave a nice, comfortably furnished home with my car each day. And maybe I should be able to stop for my 5 dollar coffee.
That cycle clouds our minds so much.
This year choose to do something different. Presence instead of Presents. Choose to live, to give, to give more but spend less.

3 months

So the great news, is that I have been here 3 months already.
Oh and that my parents will be here in 45 days... just a little over a month away :)

The past week has been crazy. It flew by and dragged at the same time. How one week feels like a month, I have no idea....
Last week was regular classes for me, with the addition of my extra class, pretty much every day. Which makes my days really long.
I also had to deal with the fact that my office was crazy, as I am in the 3rd grade teachers office... and all the 3rd graders had a special "off" week. This craziness makes it impossible to work in my office, and made me rather confused of what was going on.. as some of the third grade teacher also teach 2nd grade classes with me.
I also had a training seminar on the wednesday, and that was so much fun. It started off with me not being totally sure I was supposed to be there, as Ms Lee was not there on Tuesday to tell me if I was supposed to go, after I had registared. Well, I took a chance and went with another Native teacher from my building. So i got a phone call at 8 30. ms lee was calling to ask where i was. I was at the training... she got all flustered, saying she didnt tell me to go, because we didnt get an email saying i was supposed to.. well we did.. she just hadnt checked it. So after her freaking out a little (great way to start the day.. NOT)... she called again and said I was supposed to go.
So we went, and left early, and just had a nice day NOT teaching.
The next day ms lee asked about it, and said it was pointless and wondered why we even go to those things... UGH
I also had another class whith her that lead to me NOT doing well enough yet. We did tongue twisters.. how the HECK does someone do tongue twisters wrong....
Thursday night we had a birthday party, which was nice.. minus the fact that I was exhausted.. and wasn't really the best company :P But I got to watch some euro qualifier highlights.. that made me happy.
Friday I had 5 classes in a row.. and was DEAD.. I had an awful headache, and also had to take Kay to the vet that evening. So i took a nap and was feeling better after that. I then took Kay to the vet, and got to cook supper for a friend.. oh I miss cooking.
This weekend was a lot of nothing. I didnt do much at all. Saturday I slept, and then went shopping for cleaning supplies and some other things other then food.. then I cleaned the apartment. And then watched movies for the rest of the day.
Sunday I woke up with a TERRIBLE cough. I feel like crap still. I can't talk. So sunday was church, and then bed. I slept a lot... took advil often.
So now this week, I cant talk, and I have classes and extra classes.. ugh.. there will be a lot of movies shown.
My christmas plans are not that exciting.. I have to work on the 24th, but then plan to go to a concert in Itaewon. And then on Christmas day we have a dinner together and just relaxing.. and then on the 26th.. back to school... at least its a friday..
Its almost break.. thankfully!
Cant wait.. i really need the rest!

Time to write, I dont want to work

Hey world out there.... well, world in my computer anyways...
Right now I dont want to work, and I have already just re-organized the english zone and went outside... (but i got caught outside... ms.lee gave me a funny look).. so I am back at my desk, brain wanting to bleed in the process.
Ok, so this week.
Its been a pretty decent week. Work wise its been a good week. I had no classes to teach due to exams. I was able to spend the whole week planning 16 lessons for my extra class that is this month, as well as beginning the process for my winter camp, which is 20 lessons as well. At least the winter camp is fun.
So this week I have been able to get ahead in my work. and just focus all day on the planning, without the interuptions of classes, which usually make me lose my train of thought :P
So social life this week.. well I took a break actually.. stayed at home with Kay.. relaxed, slept a lot...
Tonight, (friday) I am going with a lovely group of people for Dinner (McDonalds) and then we are going to see a movie (Twilight) and then out for drinks. I am pretty stoked about dinner and a movie... and leaning towards getting a coffee at starbucks and drinking that instead of alcohol.
The Saturday is going to be another subway and shopping trip. This time I will be with people :P so hopefully I will not get lost this time... oh man, good times. I also have my camera back in working order, so that is good, So there will be picture from this weekend. We are going to hit up Insadong, the tourist area, and then the area where a lot of Western shops are. So that will be cool :)
Kay is doing great. Getting super active and busy and cuddly too... less eating of my hair.. but still constantly wanting to be with me. She has major attachment issues :P

So now I dont know what to write... There are so many thoughts in my head right now again. Like why am I here.. why did I choose Korea. oh, yeah, to make money. But right now I want to be somewhere else where they need me. Where I dont go out and shop and still am surrounded by so much consumerism. Part of me feels like I am not making a difference here. I know I am.. really I do. The kids love me lots, and I am working.. and I am supposed to be here, because there is so much happening to me.
But I miss the Christian community. I miss just being able to talk about my faith without being laughed at. Or being able to tell the bible stories that I love... or working with youth... and caring for others in the way that Christ calls us to.
Guess my calling to Ministry is picking up again. There are reasons like that for why I am in Korea.
Now the question is.. am I called to the mission field? What is my calling after this year. I may have 9 more month here... but sometimes answers take a while. and this is a prayer thing that is HUGE. A huge life decision. And it would definatly change EVERYTHING that my life is right now.

The great thing is that my parents will be here in about 55 days :) and then I can talk to them about this, and actually get vocal feedback, instead of thinking about this all the time in my head.. or typing....

Well thats my update for now

so its been a really long time

Wow.. so I was looking at my blog, and looking at how long it might be since I have last written.
I think its getting harder and harder to think of things to write. Life here has gotten to be pretty normal. So normal in fact that I am getting comfortable with the people here.. and making the wonderful stupid mistakes that I always do around people. You know, like when I forget to THINK before I talk. I always seem to mess up relationships when I get comfortable with people. That was last week, a bit of a kick to deal with.
God has been doing that often here. Teaching me so much stuff. And its hard! I think the hardest part is finding the time to absorb what he is teaching me... because right now school is so busy, and I just dont have time to think.
I actually got sick last week Thursday. I took a day off, and spent a good amount of time thinking, praying, crying, and only being ill once. I will be happy when December is over, because I have done so much work this month, and that is what is draining me so much.
December for me, holds a month of extra classes. So every day after school, from 3:30-5:10, i have 20 students come and learn English with me. I enjoy the class, as their level of English is higher, and they want to learn.. but I am teaching this class by myself... so I have to create ways of getting the students to work with me. And I still have to remember to stop making my lessons so hard... they seem easy to a native speaker.. but they're not so simple, I think.
Anyways.. those extra classes go all the way till the 29th of December.. so a lot of work.. and with it being at the end of the day, I am always more brain-dead then.. and tired...
What else is going on... working hard... umm.. OH! i know
My Saturday (so 2 days ago), I went to Yongsan.. or as I call it, the land of shiny electronics. So I was going to meet Brian there, since I knew I wouldn't be able to do the whole store thing by myself. So I took the subway by myself.. forgetting my map. To start it off, I went 4 stops to far past where Brian and I were to meet, so we met up in the middle and then walked to the land of shiny electronics. Once we got there, it was really cool to see what was all there. and you get hasseled because all of the sales people are selling the same things, but if you asking around you can get better deals.. which we did. it was fun.
Now getting home. Oh dear. So Brian directed me to the right subway and the right track to get onto. Ok, so far so good. This train, we thought, would go down automatically, and then bring me to the stop where I needed to make my transfer.
It didn't
So i ended up travelling all the way to Incheon.. yeah.. great eh.. I asked the train people there for a map. Got directed to the right train and right track, and went back to where I was supposed to get off the train, so I could head downwards towards home. So i get on a train. This train, instead of continuing down the line, goes to this off side area, which was a giant KTX station. So I begin just a bit of a panic attack. This was not so fun.. but at least they had nice bathrooms, so I used them.. found the track that would lead me back. Got off at the station before it went into the stupid off link. I then found some Korean women who were travelling together... and asked them if this train would connect me to the station where I needed to transfer one last time. And it was! There was also a lady who had to transfer at the same place as me. So she nicely, dragged, me around :). There was also some university students on the train that spoke better English, so I could ask them to double check.
So i finally made it on to the train that would take me home. I was lucky that i made it in the time i did, because the trains DO stop running at some point in the night.
I took a taxi home instead of bussing.. just because i couldn't deal with the stress, and I didn't know how much longer the busses would run at that time.
I have a new rule... well 3. Never forget MAP! Never get on not packed trains! And Don't travel alone again.. I get way to lost....
It was an ok experience. At least the trains are nice... it was dark, so I couldn't see a lot more of Korea.. and my panic attack wasn't so major.. only teared a little when I had to talk on the phone... but if I wasn't talking, I wasn't freaking out to much. And now i know for next time...
Sunday this weekend we got SNOW! I took Kay outside in it! There wasnt a lot of snow on the ground, so she really didnt know what it was.. she just thought we were outside for fun.. and that she was getting a little wet.. Now its raining.. and the weather is supposed to go back to 13 sometime this week. Weather in Korea is strange.
This week is exams for the students, so at least I will get this week to plan. Hopefully I can stay focused on planning.... I often get distracted, because it really is hard to sit and plan lessons ALL day.
Well, hopefully everything goes well this week, and then December is almost done. I only have the 25th off.. and then back to teaching until the end of December. After that the school is out for about 2 months.. but I am here every day.. woot....
BUT then my parents come Feb. 5-15!!! Very exciting. And I get to have those days off and get to enjoy time seeing Korea with people actually!
Ok.. time to start working.. I think...

its been awhile

so i have some time on my hands. I have a good amount of my work started, and my brain is just tired and doesn't want to get any further on it.
So what has happened since I have last blogged..
Well, almost 2 weeks have passed.
Ok, so highlights
Biggest one is Vern getting released from the hospital.
Also like I said in my last post, I have been a lot more sociable here with our lovely foreigner group. This is a sign of adjustment. I am accepting relationships here, because I wont be leaving them all of a sudden. I was detached for the first month because I was so fragile and didnt want to go through working on relationships and then leaving, if it was to come to that.
Lets see, I have gone out for dinner with people often and had lots of nice conversations, I have gone to a Jazz bar to hear Brian and some guys play with a WHOLE lot of other foreigners. I have gone out to Hongday, to the Oi bar and set off a car alarm with my leg.. oh dear...
I have gone to Oido.. and shot off fireworks there after people ate a lot of shell fish.
The WORST highlight would be me and ms lee. we are not getting a long very well. plus there is a great lack of communication with the school to me, and lots of other great junk
So that is the prayer request of this year. That I will be able to learn to work with Ms Lee . It will be me that will have to learn from this. And if I make it through this (which i will BUT), this experience will help me with the rest of my life, because its not like we can get along with everyone we will ever work with.
Well, we can be thankful that I can get over that though, thats why shooting fireworks helped.. it would have had to be something destructive to help me.. or me kicking a soccer ball at something... but it seems that girls cant play soccer here. BUT I might just decided to go play with my students sometime.. just because one of the teachers said it would be a cool thing to do.. hmmmmm.
This weekend i am NOT going to do anything. I need a rest. Last weekend was busy.. and so have the past few days, so Wednesday and Thursday are to be my days to relax and then Friday I have to take Kay to the vet, and I have small plans after that. Saturday maybe the weather will be nice, and Kay and I can go for a walk or something, and just sleep :) and Sunday will be church.:)

mailing stuff to Mel

ok.. so I dont know if people will even EVER send stuff (other then my mum and dad)...
BUT due to me thinking that I wrote the home address, I am going to give you the school address....
Wonil Middle School, 1062
Sunbou-dong, Danwon-gu
Ansan City, Kyonggi-do, Korea

Just put my name on it too :) The office always has people in it, and they know that if its in english, its for me :)

so thats the addy...
(theres not much for an update... other then me being alot more socialble as of late with people here..)

another week gone by

Hey everyone.. so another blog about my past week.
Life in Korea is becoming normal.. and therefor might seem pretty boring, especially if you are following Brian and Erin's exciting adventures.
Its a good thing though that life is normal here. Plus I dont do too much travelling around right now, because Kay needs me to be home with her.. since I feel bad leaving her on the weekends, when I leave her all week. Also my parents are planning on coming to visit, and I would like to save a lot of travel places for when they come, so that I can share my experiences with people.. not just my camera...
So this week.. well it was filled with fustrations that come normally with work. A lot of lack of communication.. me being fustrated and being a girl.. so everything was making me cry..
We had our festival on the tuesday, so I had no classes, but I had to do a lot of work in the end still.. and no one told me what was going on.
Then the next day we had a changed schedual, and no one told me the changed times... I was so fustrated with the school, that I made dinner plans with people because I needed to vent. And it was really great that I did, because I had a major dutch Bingo with a friend of Brians. I know both sides of her family,went to the same high school as her (LDCSS). So we talked a lot about home and that helped me feel a little less stressed out :)
And then thursday i was just cranky, but i survived... and had a dinner out again.. which was good.. Nikia had had the bad day that day...
and Friday was a looong day.. but it was done, and then i went home.. and hung out with Kay and just relaxed.
Saturday it rained here, so I went out and bought a mat for my floor, so i have something to sit on now.. and then spent the rest of the day, well, not moving much
Sunday was church, and then lunch with a lady i met at GEPIK training.. so that was good.. and then going home and doing more sitting around.. very nice...
So that is Korea now for me. And now the weather is turning.. so it might be harder to do stuff on the weekends, as much of the interesting things here are outside.. so I might not be doing much with my weekends... plus Ansan is super boring.. so maybe I will have to do stuff.. I will talk with my other native friends.. and see what happens.. stay tuned for updates
So my friends surgry.. it was this week.. and it went really well. It took 5 hours, but Vernon is doing great, for something as bad as what happened. God's hand has definatly been on this, and still is :)

something different, and perhaps hopeful

I am going to do something that is different then what I usually do..
Instead of just an update, I am going to write.
But, we'll start with an update. My weekend was very peaceful, Kay and I did nothing all day Saturday. well, we did sleep in till 8:30, and then we had a nice relaxing morning. Then in the afternoon we went to the park and just sat in the grass in the sunshine. Super lovely weather, it was supposed to rain.
And my sunday I went to Church, and this is what I want to write about, and its connected to something in Saturday as well.
So before I left, a lot of people wondered what would happen church wise, and so did I. I was hearing from some people a lot of worry about what church would be like, and that it may not be what we think church should be. But i am experiencing the opposite. I go to a large church here in Ansan. Korea is actually one of the largest Protestant countries in the world. There are churches on every corner... or every buliding almost, and there are a lot of buildings here.
People here are very vocal about Christianity, and believe that EVERYONE should be saved. Like saturday, while i was in the park, i was in the grass with kay.. just relaxing, and this lady comes up to me, this conversation is all in Korean on her side, and English on mine, and a one or 2 words in english from her. She asked where I was from, and where I was teaching.. Her son goes to my school. She then decided that I need God. The thing is that it is often assumed that because I am a Foreigner, I dont have a belief. I've been prayed for on the subway.. for my salvation, though, not my spiritual health. Anyway, back to Saturday. This lady did not understand me when I said I am a Christian, I believe in God, I go to church. She kept pushing.. the english that came out, was Heavenly matter, and you church, go now. That was a little bit fustrating because pushing God at people like that does nothing. And it wasn't like i could just get up and walk away, because she is a parent of one of my students.. so i said it was lunch time.. and I told her to find me on Tuesday (our schools festival), and we can have a translator.. and I can tell her that I am a Christian... I was a little angry after that.. fustrated...
So back to Dongsan. Its a HUGE church and it has a English service. The english service is great to have.. but the preaching, well that is where I am looking for more. Pastor Nick has the passion, but he needs training.. or it might be me.. right now what he is saying, it doesn't move me to think...
So after church on sunday, we went for free noodles and coffee after the service. I went with Melidy and Sarah.. two other english teachers.. and after we had our noodles, we were walking to get the coffee, and we went and peeked in on a worship service that was going on. And there was God...
That worship was passionate, and even though i couldn't understand the words, you could feel the passion, and the presence of the Father there. So no more doubts about God not being there. The hairs on my arms were standing up while we where standing there. Can you think of what Heaven will be like.. it will be like that.. so many languages coming together to worship our Father *but then we will be able to understand it all* It was refreshing to see that.. and great.
This week has also been another reminder of God's purpose in our lives. When I was thinking of coming here, I wondered how God would use me in a land where I dont understand people, and they dont understand me. And when things were rough, I wondered if God was still with me here.. i felt so distant and alone.. all over.. alone from people, alone from God. But i took that situation, and told myself to pick it up.. A cheerful heart is a decision. Same with the relationship.. i have to work on it to feel God. So with a new attitude to here, and a puppy to distract me, we have begun the process of becoming comfortable in Korea, and a new person then what I was when I got here.
With that change, God saw I was ready I guess. He had reasons for sending me to Korea. He put me in the hallway with Kay at the right time this past Wednesday. He has put me through my life journey to prepare me for what I might have to say, or do. He gave me the heart that I have for a reason. "For such a time as this".
I am in Korea for a reason. But I am holding on, because once God starts, you can sorta assume that its just the tip of the ice burg. Who knows what else God will bring into my life here. I just have to be open to what He might want. And I'm ok with that.
I have been doing so much growth here.. its scary. Sometimes I dont recognize myself when I look in the mirror.. or when I look inside myself. I look older (it might be being tired).. and the things that come out of me, are much more mature. I no longer have to play the roll of the crazy goofy kid that most people thought I was...
When I get home, i have a feeling that most people who have not walked along side me in this journey, will not recognize me. And friends that have "walked away", may not fix any longer, because of this new person I am... or they will not recognize me anymore.. and i can't let myself side into the comfortable, silly kid I was. I need to stay in this rough walk, where crap is thrown at me, and I accept it. Were i can be the person I am becoming.. it may be uncomfortable, but its what I am becoming now. There are benifits to leaving, because the true friends are seperated from the not, and this way is a way of closure.. a nice end. And sure I wont call it end forever, because God does what He needs.. but this feels like an end to some, and a beginning to others. The true relationships have become more intense, and have grown to levels i could not imagine. I dont know what i would do without the re-assurance that Jeannine will still be there when I get back :) and I love how I have a new relationship with Amanda ( i see myself so much in her.. so get ready Amanda, if your life takes a similiar path to mine).. and Dan and I... there is a level of dialogue there that amazes me... not surface talk which I usually have guys, because boys are sometimes pretty shallow :P and i need deep
Being here has brought other challenges, perhaps not only for me, but for other people. I want to be able to cause people to feel challenged. I want people to begin to see where they are in their lives as well. To see our own masks.. or our flaws, or our hang-ups, our emotional problems... and i want to encourage them to take the chance to give God the OK to work, and to HOLD ON. Because once we give that OK to God, he is going to work, and it will be an intense ride. There will be changes you might not like, there will be things you see about yourself that you will hate, there will be times where you want to jump off the ride... BUT Hold strong, HOLD on.. because the end results will be glorious.. I am soooo excited to see what else this year holds for me.. I've only been here a month and half.. and already the things I see.. Some of these changes have been there for a while.. BUT its the first time seeing them.. and that is the amazing thing.. I'm letting God show me things.... letting Him work, even when I dont like it... and its a WOW thing. Just like the worship.. Its a WOW. God is here in Korea, and God is working. Even when the seas are stormy, they had to be stormy, for God to show himself to his disciples... we often don't see things if our eyes aren't open (oh, i just got yesterdays sermon on the seeds more.. well at least God's using parables)... We need to have our eyes opened. Perhaps that is why the bad things happen.. we need to have our eyes open.. and God works even in those times. He has control over the WHOLE story. And yes, kike Job, sometime the devil gets his hands into our lives.. or we mess up, and let him.. BUT GOD USES THAT! He can make all things good :)
ah, its good to see this.. and feel this..
(oh and if you are wondering why I had time to write so much.. i only have 2 classes on Monday, and I finished next weeks lesson already, and I didnt want to start lesson 4.. and I felt like writing... )
:)

week, before my weekend

Hi! I am going to send out an update before my weekend, because I am at school, with no more classes for the rest of the day, and its only 12 :):):):):):) and if I am at school, I can type without Kay trying to eat my fingers.
So my week was pretty uneventful. I was super tired on monday, after my lovely busy weekend. And i guess I may not be getting enough sleep here in Korea.. or my body is just wanting more sleep.. because I always look tired. This week was filled with teachers asking me if I was ok.. or I was feeling alright.
Right now I need to ask you guys for your prayers, but not just for me. I need you guys to pray for Vernon and Kirsten. They are the super great couple that has let me join them on their last few tourist stops before they were to leave in December. Kirsten is the woman who has pretty much helped me through my rough spots here in Korea, some I dont feel bad about venting too. Please pray, because on Wednesday Vernon was hospitalized with a very major brain hemorrage. This is in God's hands though. we can see how he is working in this difficult situation, no matter what.
Pray for healing, and pray for wisdom for Kirsten with the decisions she has to make, as they are now going to be in Korea at least until Febuary, and there are a lot of decisions that need to be made, and lot of hard questions that have answers being searched for. We are going one hour at a time now. Thankfully its no longer one moment at a time...
For those who know me well, you know that most often my heart bleeds for those who are hurting... i hurt along with them. My thursday was hard, because my thoughts were on Vernon and Kirsten the whole time.. didnt want to be teaching.. or planning lessons...
I am very thankful that Kirsten is willing to call me when she just needs someone to be there. I might not be WHO she wants, but I am there for her... :)
So now its my friday, no more classes for the day which is awesome. i should do some work... and i think i should be able to focus today.
I dont have ANY plans for this weekend.. I am just going to sleep and just chill with Kay, and go to church on Sunday... i hope to be able to talk to people... my Skpye will be signed in
Please Pray! and Kay is doing well, we are getting her potty trained outside, which is awesome.. now we just have to figure out how to do the indoor thing.... which ISN'T going so well.
Thanks for all the thoughts guys... and for encouraging notes, and all the arrow prayers that i know are sent at random times when you might think of me.

week 6

So I haven't blogged for a while... or thats what it feels like for me.

  Kay is super great to have around.  She's someone to come home to, and she loves me a lot, and is SUPER cute.. but is also a lot of work.  we have gotten the pooping on the puppy mat downpat, but not the peeing.. and thats what i want (yes, i feel like a mum because all i can talk about it my baby, and she keeps me awake often).  She is sleeping downstairs by herself, but that means that I usually wake up to some puddles.. I am debating leaving her in the bathroom at night, but I think that would be a lot of stress, for both of us... she went into her crate tonight with the door shut after peeing on the floor.. and she DID NOT like that.

So things in my life OTHER then Kay.

Well, I am becoming more and more like a teacher (its taken me a month, but we will see what happens with what I am about to do).  I am working on making themes for the month, for example our first month will be introductions.. and then from there a lesson for the week.  For my grade ones I have 45 min, and with my grade 2's I have about 20 min.   Which is cool.. now we just have to hope that the students learn from it, and that I can make good enough lessons :P

  This week at school was super long feeling for me.  I was just tired and wanted time to work on the lessons that I was creating.. I'll give an example of stress... there was a meeting on Thursday of the english teachers at the school.  This meeting was in Korean, but they wanted me there.. so I had to sit there and listen to the first bit while I really wanted to go work on my lesson.  Then BANG "Melanie, what do you want to tell us about making your teaching better".. my answer was Um, I have to think of this.. but NOOOOOO they needed me to answer then.. so I said nothing (i really couldn't think of anything and still can't).. and before that, I guess they were talking about me and such.. saying that my teaching and confidence has improved since I've gotten Kay.. I don't think its JUST Kay.. because I have been here a month now.. and I've accepted my situation.. I'm ok here, heck, I'm even ok with the losing of contact with friends... (slowly, but yes.. there are season, and Dad I already knew that.. its still frustrating).

   OH! I've also started learning Korean, I go to class on Thursday nights with a whole lot of foreigners.. i have to study this week!! (thats a note to myself)... Its HARD!! the sounds are so different, and every time I try to speak it, it sounds like I am speaking french or spanish... but Korean is NOT supposed to be like that.  So more studying, and I will learn this.

Another more Korean Mel thing.. I am going to start getting the lunches here at school... yep.. Korean food daily.. Mel using chop-sticks daily.. and there will be days when I can just eat the rice.. but I will bring snacks with me.. and then i can just eat bread for dinner :)

  Oh.. I turned 22 on Saturday.

My birthday here involved getting up at 8 from my doggy... and then talking to my family for a long nice time, and a quick chat with the people in Hamilton.. which it would have been nicer if it was longer.  But they were kind enough to go and try Korean food (after i sent them a list, and felt like i may have guilt-ed them into it)..  Then I was picked up by the head teacher of my office, Mrs. Hmm, and she took me to her home in Yogisan.. really high end housing etc.  She and her daughter and I went out for lunch to a Pasta place, and then we went for ice cream.. and then came home and watched some of National Treasure and napped... then played Rummy (i am still awful at that game, and it made me miss cold noodles and Ranch dressing) and another game.  By then I was just emotionally exhausted.. its hard when the teacher doesnt speak english well, at least her daughter did :)... and I just wanted to go home and be with Kay.. and you know, let a few tears out because i was tired, and i missed being at home for my birthday... well, missed my family.. but not really the whole shin-ding about birthdays... So then I was home by 8, grabbed some ice cream from the shop downstairs and watched some mythbusters (new favorite show to watch).. then went to bed.

   Sunday involved a trip to Dongdaymun... SHOPPPPING! I didnt take any pictures because it was CRAZY.  Its super hard to explain.. but lets say that it was about 8 blocks of outdoor shopping.. on both sides of the street, and all of it SUPER cheap!  Like i bought 3 long sleeve shirts 2 North Face, and one NIKE for only 15,000 won (which is 15 dollars).. a pair of Uug boots for 20,000 won (20 dollars),  a cute bag for 10, 000 won (10 dollars), and 4 pairs of socks for 2,000 won (2 dollars).. the most expensive thing of the day was food and travel :P

But what was so crazy about it was the amount of PEOPLE and the lack of space... and for those who don't know.. I hate small spaces and large crowds.. then mix them together, and its freaky.. and then add some funny smells everyone and a while.. and yeah.. so super intense.  You defintaly get pushed and shoved everywhere, and thats normal.. like you have to do it to get anywhere.. and so thats why pictures were impossible.. one could not stop and stand still for long... 

So i was rather exhausted again.. but that was a nice day, what could have been called my birthday in Canada... spent with new friends. and now cuddling with Kay.. aka, Puddles....

   Thank you to those who remembered my birthday (and let me know that you did)... 

and thanks again for all the thoughts that come my way... there will still be rough days, and those bad days that will just get over-emphasied... but I am getting much more at home here.  I dont think i will call them roots.. but its not a daily battle with myself here.. the shock is wearing off.. which is great.

    I miss everyone muchly.. and I wont say I am counting down until I can come home.. but I am counting down till school is out for winter break, and super hoping that Mom and Dad can come to Korea to visit.. because it might make it harder, but it will help, because then I can share "my Korea" with some people, directly... not just through my notes.. because it doesn't do it justice

  (kay is snoring right now, but she would say bye if she was awake)

another Korean weekend

So after my crappy days this week, I was really hoping that things would get better.

  So after Wednesday, I woke up, and read my Bible and ended up reading about having a cheerful heart.. which reminded me that my sad can be stopped, I don't need to dwell in it, I have to be cheerful when i feel sad

  So my Thursday went better

And so did my friday.  My friday was a lot of fun actually.  I have a new co-teacher, she just moved from California back to Korea after 2 years in the States (her kids are still in the US actually).  The great thing about her is that I can relate to her and talk to her.. plus I become a replacement kid for her :) So on friday she came in and asked me what I was doing this weekend.. I had plans... but on Friday, i really wanted to go to the Aquarium in the COEX mall in Seoul.. so she said. OK, lets go!  We worked on these plans at like 3:30, so about an hour before I was done work.  We asked the vice-principle if we could leave at 4, but he said no.. more proof that he doesn't like me.  But Ms. Lee (my head co-teacher) said to just go at 4.. and if the VP gave us trouble, to just go the the Principal because she wants me to be happy here and to settle and have friends.. heck, she checks if I have eaten breakfast in the morning.. thats how much she cares... so we snuck out...

So we went to the Aquarium.. it was GREAT .  I saw lots of fishes, and sharks, and got to touch a starfish, and get the dead skin eaten of my fingers by Dr. Fish.. very cool

   So my Saturday was booked with me going to spend the day with Ms. Kong, she is a technology teacher at the school, and doesn't speak much English, but she wanted to have me over.  It was really nice actually,  she had invited one of the students to come with, and she has 2 kids.. who both have good English.  So we played chess, a diamond game, and cards... then we had lunch, and then played Dominos... and then at about 2 we went and saw Mama Mia.. it was really nice  to see and english film.  It was also super great to spend a day with a family.. even if it wasn't my family.. it was the feeling of being with a family that made me happy...

(so i was able to write a lot of that without getting bothered... but now Kay is all over my hands)

  So  Sunday I went to Insadong with Kirsten and Vernon.  That was a really nice way to spend a Sunday.  the weather was great.. and we just walked through the area looking around at what was there and seeing all the shops.

I also got a PUPPY.. that is who Kay is.  Kay likes to chew on everything right now, including my fingers/arm/toes/neck/nose.

She is a 3 month old Shit-tuz and is pretty much the cutest thing EVER! right now we are working on teaching potty training and she is doing great!  She even pooped on her puppy pad tonight.. now we just have to figure out what to do when she is on my bed and has to pee.. because she barks if i leave her downstairs, but she can't get off my bed to pee.. because her legs are too small. she can't even get upstairs by herself.. which is a good thing right now.  

After we learn potty training we are going to learn NOT BITING ME! and then crate training... lots of fun.

But that is why I got her.. to have someone/something to spend my nights with, and to care for.

She has an attitude and loves to growl at her toys and shake..  she'll be fun for sure!

   She must have puppy ADHD because she doesn't stay still very long, so pictures are hard, and she loves to jump and climb on me.. so its hard to hold the camera and be attacked... her "aunt" is going to visit tomorrow, so maybe we will get videos then.. oh she is standing on me right now...

  She is also learning the whole outside thing... she doesn't like it too much yet.. so potty outdoors might not happen for a while... 

  So this week has been alright.. so far :) Monday i only have 2 classes.. so I was able to prepare for this week.. we will see how my grade 2 classes go..  and Tuesday I have the principle and vice-principle coming to see how my class goes.. dun dun dunnnnnn 

well I will let you know how that goes later

  So we can be happy that I have a puppy now, and be happy that one month has passed... and that each day is getting a little easier... there will be bad days.. but I need to learn to be cheerful on the bad days No matter what.... and I will get there :)

  

one month

well there it is... I've been here a month already.  

The sadder news to that, is I think I might be a 3 month person.

Things aren't much different then when I first got here.  Sure, things are not as frightening, but I do miss home as much as I did in the beginning.. and I still don't feel settled here, I'm getting there, but not yet.

   This week has been just a crappy week.  Since I had training, I didn't have a lot of time to prepare for the next week.  And to make things even better I had a really bad stomach ache on Tuesday, and a super awful headache on Wednesday.. and when one is sick.. the homesickness kicks into gear, and then the self doubt.. I really didn't want to be a teacher those days, and felt terrible because my lessons were terrible (in my mind) and I felt that I was letting a lot of people down.

   Today was a bit better.. other then my head hurting again.  I felt a lot more cheerful, and just ready to look for things again to teach.. and just be excited about teaching.  sorta.. It almost feels like I have forgotten how to be excited about things...

   Friday will be another crazy day.. I have a lot of classes in a row, and so that is super draining..

  Saturday I am having lunch with one of the teachers at the school.  She is a computer teacher, but has very limited English, as in, other people talk to me for her... so lunch should be interesting.. at least i am getting better at using chopsticks.. but i will bring my fork, just in case.

  Sunday is still up in the air.. church yes :) and maybe I will go to the COEX mall to the aquarium.... i want to see fish....

  

My Past week

Well, I am back from my week of training.

   So how did my week go?

Well I taught 2 classes on Monday, not a lot of work, but it was a day that ended in frustration.  We didn't find out where our training was occurring until Monday afternoon, and I was expected to be there on Tuesday morning.  I was to be traveling with someone else, and we were having issues getting in contact, so I was stressing out, and PMS'ing (sorry, I was) and I was homesick because it was Canadian thanksgiving and I was missing out seeing all of my family, and just the whole Thanksgiving.  So tears at school, and me actually feeling angry for once.  Its always different to feel emotions that I haven't felt for a while.  And with this whole experience being so new, my emotions are very high, and do some very strange things when I feel things.

  But we worked things out.  And so on Tuesday I got onto the subway and headed out to Meigum.. its a little city, in the hills.  The place was pretty nice, and in the middle of no where.  The first day was pretty hard for me, because i was so tired at the middle of the day, and the PMS issue, and just the not liking my normal changing... I don't do so well when my very fragile normal is taken from me.  So some tears were happening on the Tuesday as well. There were kind people who dealt with them well though..  

The Training was super boring.. and a lot of long days.  We started our day at 7, with breakfast, and went till 9 pm.  I usually was in bed by 11.. didnt go out with the rest of the people.  Most people use that training for being drunk the whole week.. not my thing.  But i did go out on the last night, because you do meet a lot of people.. 

There was one speaker that really stuck out for me.. and what he said will be very useful.  I have to do some internal thinking soon, and figure out WHY i am here.  As well I need to work on building relationships with my students, and that will help me feel good about being here.  Plus its ok that I am crazy.  I shouldn't be afraid of letting that in the classroom.. the kids want to have fun, and I want to be someone that they remember, even if they never remember what they learnt in my english classes.  So I have a new view of my teaching, and I am ready to mould some lives, and maybe teach some english at the same time :)

   I was also able to meet 16 other teachers from Ansan there, and am glad that there are people in the same boat as me as well.  

  Friday was a lot of sleeping when i got home, because I was exhausted.

Saturday was sleeping in, and then going to the bank, and getting my bank card stuck in the machine.. so I will have to go on Monday with Ms. Lee and get some help there.... (not stressing out about that though.. just feel a little silly).

I also got to be a small part of a Korean birthday party.  I don't know if the kids always do this, but they were having a flour fight.  They throw flower on the birthday girl, and it goes from there.  It was nice to have a laugh watching them.  And have a little english talking with one of the boys.  I am always happy to hear Korean student use their english.. they do really well when they try.. I just wish they weren't so shy.

  Sunday will be church again :)  and maybe I will join Adam and Melidy for noodles after church, and then we are going to the International Fair at Wa Stadium here in Ansan.. I am excited to just see things there.. and to take some pictures, and maybe some videos.  I can upload videos onto my facebook.. so now there will be videos coming from Korea :)  And if it rains, well then we are going to go see a movie.. Transporter 3 (i think i have to watch the first 2 tonight just in case)..

   Well love you all.. and thanks for the prayers.  And my first month here is coming to a close.  Can you believe it?  There are times when i still want to come home.. but I think by the time Winter break comes a long.. this will be home... I have hope.. even if I still cry...

as i write this, my Saturday is just ending, while yours is just beginning.

So a re-cap:

School: had exams until Thursday.  Monday, fell asleep on principal.  Tuesday to Thursday very boring.  Friday was teaching, but it was terrible. (just was not there)

Life: ok.  Not too much tears, a little on Wednesday because I was exhausted.. Rest of the week was school, eat, sleep.

Weekend: nice.

Friday night started of with going to the "downtown" area for supper.  we went out for pizza at Papa John.. so WESTERN food :)  Then we went to the world famous Korean "noreabang".  Those are Korean singing rooms.  Its like private Karaoke... so fun to watch.. not really my thing, i wasn't going to go in the beginning, but I stayed cause I really didn't want to pay for a cab by myself.. its SO much cheaper when you split it.  After Karaoke we went to a sports bar.

*warning: i will be speaking of drinking*

   The sports bar was super nice.. and in Korea, alcohol is super cheap (its also super weak).  The only strong alcohol here is sojo... so we had to have a few shots (2) of that.. and a lovely sojo cocktail, and like 2 beers.  NOT DRUNK :) But it was very relaxing to just go out with people, have a few drinks and just chill.

    Saturday:

I WAS BRAVE!  

OK, so first i wanted to sleep in a little.. but my apartment is super bright by 8 am.. so i was half awake, and then the people upstairs, well i dont think it was a fight, but domestic abuse is common here, and its not cool hearing someone getting hit.  Thats how I woke up.

  So after that I decided to embark on my day.

After a healthy breakie of cereal.. i headed out the door.  I was going to be going to Seoul, BY MYSELF, to go to the National Museum of Korea.  So i walked to the subway station.. and then rode the subway right to my stop, walked and made it the museum. It was free :)

The museum was nice on the bottom floor.. lots of old stuff.. and Korea has a lot of history.  I took my time walking around, because i had gotten to the Museum by 11:30.. and I wanted to take my whole day up there.  But by the time i had finished the first floor, i was sorta bored.. heehee.

  I wanted to go to the Children's Museum there.. but it wasn't easy access like in Hull, so I didnt.  I went outside instead and wandered the gardens that surround the museum.  Very nice

   Today I had a lot of "holy crap, I'm in korea" moments.  They weren't bad though.  I am ok.  I also missed Jeannine a lot today, because she would have loved the Museum.. and I am eating the ice cream that she and I ate at school, because it was cheap.. its not ice cream actually.. its soy.

   There are a few things in Seoul that I saw today, that I want to go see, but I think i will wait to go to the Seoul tower with Mom and Dad (i still hope you guys coming works out)

  But my adventure was totally easy.. and I might do it more often.  I can do the whole travelling by myself thing.. I just wish i could share it with more people.. but this will have to do :)

  Thanks for all the encouragement when i freak out about wanting to leave.  I rush myself to much.  So now I am taking it slowly and letting things take their course, and its been working nicely.  With things working out, I now have a korean bank account :) And on Monday, I shall have a Korean cell phone.. Thanks Vernon, and Vernon's boss :)

  OH! So you may not hear from me much this week, if you ever talk with me on MSN.  I am working on Monday, but on Tuesday till Friday, I will be off for a training week :)   They are putting us up in a Hotel *oh i hope there are bath tubs!!!!*   I dont want to bring my computer with, so I am going to be sans computer... BUT i will make sure that I have an ability to text!!

  (parents send new cell number, or i will just text brothers....)

Anyways thanks again for all the support.. lots of love

Another monday

Ah, Mondays

  I sure didn't want to wake up this morning.. just because i wanted more sleep :)

But I got up, and got to school.

At school the students are doing their mid-terms right now.  They have three periods for mid-terms, and then by 12 (noon) they are heading home to study etc.

I have to be at school all day, from 8 till 4:30... BUT they decided so that I wouldn't be bored all week, that I should be part of the exams.  I get to go with teacher to the exam rooms and stand at the back of the classroom for 45 min.. YAY! Instead of sitting at my computer clicking on things.

Ms. Lee (my co-teacher) was also looking into me being able to leave early, like the rest of the teachers.. but we will see what happens with that.

  Today the principal took me out to lunch again, with other teachers :)  We went to this special place that is very natural foods etc.  They also have a special dish, which is rice and what Ms. Lee said was honeysuckle.. but it really reminded me of swiss chard, or Kale... so rice and kale was the main dish.. and then you can add little things to your rice.. like the fact that I tried kimichi turnip in it.. pickled spicy turnip.  Very strange.. but good.  

So a korean meal goes with a lot of little appetizers, about 6 dishes, and then the main rice.  Then they give you a rice tea (it tastes like pop corn), then we were served a sorta pancake like thing.. its sorta like a patty made out of something.  All the tastes here are so HARD to explain, since we have nothing like them in Canada, you will all just have to go to a Korean restaurant and try things to know what i am eating :) And then we had another Korean tea.. its super hard to explain that one.. it was a red color and had like 5 tastes to it.  And then coffee.  

   So after that i was super full.  

Now, our principal is a very caring lady, and EVERYONE at the school worries about 2 things, that I am not eating enough, and that I am lonely (yes, I am lonely).. SO the principal asked me to come back to the school with her, and watch a movie about a Cuban band, it was about 2 hours long.  Anyone who has watched a movie with me knows that I have a problem.  I can't stay awake when we are watching movies.  Now add to a movie, with nice music, in spanish, and me FULL of food... 

  yeah, I fell asleep on my principal...

When I woke up the film was just ending.. and there was a note for me with 2 other movies for me to take home, and some more snacks....

I felt terrible for falling asleep.. and I figured she hadn't left that long ago.. so I went to her office to say thank-you and to apologize for sleeping (she doesn't speak english very well.. but I think she understood)

   And now I am sitting at home.. I watched one of the movies she sent with me.. it was a classical music DVD.. a guy named Andre Rieu... and i had some lovely instant mashed potatoes for my dinner.. I haven't had potatoes in AGES :)  

   AND i found SKITTLES at the grocery store today!!! HAPPY HAPPY... minus the fact that they don't taste exactly the same, the green ones are actually green apple.. very tragic. 

   Tomorrow I get to go to more exams, and then I get to go out for lunch with all the English teachers (to a place that serves Western food.. YIPPEE).. and then I do believe I will be joining the "foreigners" out for dinner for Kristen's birthday... :)

   Please know, I am fine.  I enjoy Korea, and I enjoy my school.  One day my heart will be happier here.  I am blessed that things are so good here, and that people care so much for me.  I just struggle with the fact that I don't feel happy here.  I should be happy.. things are great.. tons of people care for me.  But somehow I still struggle.. and that upsets me, and I give myself heck for it.. 

  I guess the prayer for this blog is that I can go back to where my "self- rebuilding" was, and that I can love me, and accept my situation.. and not beat myself up all the time.

Sunday

So my sunday... good day... 

I slept the longest i have here yet.. til 10.. because i forced myself to stay in bed..  But then I got ready, and went outside to read till about 12.. because i was going to be picked up.

  I had lunch plans with one of my co-teachers at Wonil, Ms. Moon. 

So her and her family took me out to the downtown area in Ansan to TGIF.. an american restaurant here in Ansan.  She has the 2 cutest little kids.. and a very nice husband.. very kind (that is a key thing in Korea relationships).  So we had a nice lunch, talked about some Canadian things, since they both studied at Brock for a period of time.

  After lunch they took me to one of the peaks here in Ansan, so that I could see the city, and as well, get a little view of the city.. it was cool to see the shape of the city, as well as the industrial area that is so key in the google maps thingy.  

After the peak, we went to the Ansan lake park.. yeah, they call it a lake.. its a pond.  Really.. and its a small pond.. smaller then the "lake" I walked around on Saturday.  But it does have a river, and its full of trout.. but it is illegal to fish them.. so there was a lot of trout swimming around in the rather shallow water.  There were also fish fishing for the trout.. so we watched those with the kids.. and just had a nice afternoon .

  I got home around 4:30.. and i'm pretty tired... if I am busy.. i dont think about things..

Other news: I have been emailing with someone who lives in Ansan, and has for 7 years.. he goes to a church here.. so instead of going to Seoul, there may be a church in the general area.. it still may be complicated for me, but in time perhaps I will be able to get it.  And taxis always know where things are.. and they are not too expensive.  So that should make people happy, and i hope it ends well.. because a church community could be helpful.

  A small other thing.. i was offered another position at a different school.  A school that has 3 other people from Redeemer teaching at it.  I turned down the offer, because its not the school that I am having problems with.  Its me.

  I think one of the biggest things is that i am so unsettled.  I don't have my alien registration card yet, and that means that I do not have a bank account, and without a bank account, I can't get a cell phone.  So I am very unsettled here still.  I also dont have a lot of money.. since I don't get paid until the 25th.  

  I struggle with having the faith in myself to be independent, when I still have to be so dependent on the school.  It was easy when we moved when I was younger, Dad and Mom did it all, we just had to learn to make friends, which was super easy when you are little.

  I think there are other things that are making me unsettled in general.  Being alone is emphasized by some things back at home.. relationships... and trying how to make friendships work.. without romantic interest getting in the way.. and then the feeling of being single so much... its emphasized here.  Especially when the married couples have someone with them.. and those that came here with their boyfriend of girlfriend.. they have someone to turn to.

  Another thing.. when you are really low.. you start to doubt your faith.  I will admit that my faith was not the "liveliest" before i left.  I believe in God, and know he loves me.. but I was in the spot when the bible reading and the prayer slips away.. and when you go to church just because its a motion that you do.  Things were fine.. and I wasn't challenging my faith.  I have the benefit (and curse) of a strong religion background.  I know lots of things, and I believe them, but its hard to act them out all the time.  

  And so when i hit the rough times, its like I've heard it all before.. So i get a little frustrated with everyone. because i know that they are saying.. I just am mad at me that i can't just accept it, and do it.  Plus everyone is saying... but they are not in the situation I am in..  no one else is on the other side of the world by themselves.  Struggling with their self-esteem and getting mad at themselves because they thought they were over those issues..

  Well.. so now those people who experienced my crashing on friday.. I hope that helps you understand a little better.. And for the rest, I guess that helps you know what to pray for.  I am praying now and reading my Bible (but that is because things are rough right now).

  Have a good day everyone.. its my bedtime soon (ok so its 7).  

This week is mid-terms for my school.. NO TEACHING...

and then the week after I have my training week... so then I will meet new people who are all in the same boat as me, and perhaps that will help with the alone feeling.

         love

Now....

So, I haven't posted in awhile.  I read the last post and laughed at myself.  Happy... wow..  one day things are great, the next day it all comes crashing down and I struggle with being here.

  So what have I done here since that Tuesday.  

Thursday night we went to the downtown area here in Ansan.  We went out for dalki galbi.. which is like fried rice and meat.. There I met a few more of the foreigners, as well as 3 Korean students that know the group.  That was the evening I met Kirsten, she lives in our apartment building and teaches at a High School here.  I was talking to her about still having a hard time with the grocery store, just finding healthy options for food.

  So Friday morning we went to the grocery store, and did some walking around.  She also taught me how to use the washing machine.. since it was in Korean.. sadly it does not have a dryer.. so my apartment was covered in laundry.. at least it got things really dry.  Then Friday went downhill.  I felt so alone again. and home sick.  I really dont feel right here.  There is something in ME right now that isn't settled here.  Korea is great and my teaching job is lovely.  So i was a mess all of friday.

    Brian sent me a message on friday night, and recommend on saturday, during the day, that i go to Hawrang Park, so I did.  I got myself out of the house and walked the way to the park, after I found it on google maps and saw that i just had to walk straight until i got to a big parking lot.   So I walked around the park and took some pictures.  I also walked around the pond, it was about a 2km walk.   It was a good walk, I took some time to think.. and to still randomly cry.  I was looking at a map of Ansan and it made me cry....   The park also had a museum of Modern Art.  So i went it.  It was very strange.  Like one art was a documentation of one mans skin disease on his hands and feet.  He even took samples of his skin and other gross fluids.  Modern Art is a very interesting thing.   At the park there were some girls from my school there actually so they politely said "hello", and asked if I was hiking, and then a friend from another school said i was "pretty".  I also got "attacked" by small children.  When i met my students they do their best to talk to  me in English and then there is often silence.  With the little kids, they just started going on and on in Korean.. and I know NOTHING.. none of it made sense :)  and they wanted to follow me around, and talk.. so I went outside, trying to find the group that they might belong to.  But then I found myself surrounded by lines of groups of children.  But all they said to me was Hi! And waved.  So i waved to a lot of kids.  I felt like the queen.. haha.

  Saturday night Brian showed me Itaewon.  Its in Seoul, and it is pretty much a Western area, the stores are all Western and there are so many non-Koreans there.  So I have been to Seoul now.  And I also have an idea of how to use the subway.  I don't think I will ever go to Seoul by myself though, because it is very large and just not the safest for going to by yourself.  

Back to Itaweon.. we went to an English bookstore there, and that made me happy.  I got 2 books, since I had finished mine that I brought with me.  And we had grabbed gyros :)  So I had food that is slightly normal to me for once.  And it gets better.. after the bookstore, we went for ice cream :) I hadn't had ice cream since leaving Canada.. and we went to Cold Stone Creamery... sorta fancy ice cream.. it was good!  It was that or Starbucks for me (since I dont have any money) and the ice cream was worth it.

   After walking around Itaewon a little to see what was all there.. we saw the Rocky Mountain Tavern (Canadian Bar), and it even sells "Grasshopper" (thats from Alberta times with Dan and I.. and Keith, Dan's twin).   There are a lot of Western shops there.. but maybe not the best place to buy clothes, because it would be expensive.. you can find cheaper places Brian was saying.

  We then went to a little place called "All that Jazz", to hear some Jazz.  It was really nice... the music was really well done.. and it was just nice to be out of the house.  Plus Brian was the one who wanted to be there.. so I didn't feel like I was dragging someone out of their life, and it was very nice to be included in the activities of other people.  And I like Jazz.. so much skill in that..

  So life in Korea is good.  Now if I could only become good feeling here.

Tuesday

Ladies and Gentlemen.. I am happy to announce that I HAD A GOOD DAY TODAY!

  Yes, you have heard it right!  

I was sleepy when i woke up this morning, and not really in the mood to go to school.. but its a good thing to do.  

  I was cheerful today.  I worked on powerpoint all morning,  as I only had one class at last period today.   The powerpoint went very well, and I also got things for my house from the school *they paid for it, not me*

  I was happy enough to be humming when i was eating an apple.  Apples make me happy.. it was a nice, crisp apple :)  And they remind me of fall, and it its getting to be fall like here.. sorta..

   This afternoon was also spent of ppt's, and some activity thinking.

My class that I assisted in today, went SUPER well.. at least that is what I thought.  I had a fun activity.. which was a poem about being sick.. which means for the first time I actually supplemented a lesson :P

  And I made elbow noodles with tomato sauce for dinner, BUT that meant that I missed out on having dinner with Brian and another person in our building.. I keep missing them, as I missed people last night when I was grocery shopping. (i got chocolate.. yay for my sweet tooth) I am very thankful that people are trying to see me at least :)

  And we are making plans for dinner on Thursday night.. as we all who teach, DON'T have classes on Friday.. so we can stay out late and not worry about teaching.. YAY for a National Holiday!  That means my week is very close to being done :)  Only 2 more teaching days.. and I don't have any 1 grade classes this week... do doo doo.. *happy mood song* 

OH! I saw the funniest looking dog today.. It was about the size of size of MY hands *i have small hands, really small hands*.. This dog could fit in a small tea cup.. and it was fluffy.. and wearing a sweater.. I saw it walking home from school.. and it really made me laugh inside. And the fact that dude in the relationship had to carry the puppies PINK housing purse.. silly Koreans..

  

Thanks again for all the prayers and love.. I am feeling them :)

Address

Ok, so i know my address.. sorta.. You will have to look up on the internet what the postal code is here.. if there is one needed. So this will make things even more confusing.. the Postal code is 425.. BUT i also live in apt. number 425.. SO i don't know how to explain this.

This is the formate the address should have:

person's name: Melanie Rowaan

house number: 425 NeulBom Street, Officetel

Subdivison: Seonbu-dong, Danwongu

City Name: Ansan

Province: Gyeonggido

Country Name: South Korea

So now people can send me stuff :) I would love mail.. but it might be hard for me to mail everyone who send things. because here in Korea mail in not common.. as most things are commicated through e-mail.

Weekend

So my saturday was ok.  I was really happy to get to talk to people on Skype, and the weather was nice so i went for a walk and took pictures.  Then i just spent the rest of the day relaxing and watching a movie.  Ate some soup and another scary sandwich...

  Now its Sunday morning, and I'm a wreck.  My nose was runny when I woke up, this is relevant because the teacher beside me is sick.  I dont want to get sick.   I'm also super homesick feeling right now.  

  I miss normal.  I miss things making sense.  I miss being able to go outside and not feel lost.  I miss my mom yelling upstairs on Sunday mornings for me to get up.  I miss my dog hogging the bed.  I just miss home so much.. and i dont know what to do with myself.  I don't know if I can do this.  No, I can do this... It just hurts a lot now.  I really want April to come quickly.  

  Its been a week since i've left home.. wow.... but still I don't think I was as ready for this as I had thought.

  I need support right now... and a BIG hug.  I miss that.  I can interact with people, but it will be a long time until I will be able to hug someone... a very long time at this point.

Friday

Oh, its nice to say that.  my week is done...

  Things went alright today.

Last night i met up with Brian, who is also from Canada for dinner.  He showed me some of the places near the apartment, and got me a bus pass which was awesome.. now I just have to learn the whole bussing thing.  OH! and i tired Kimchi fried rice.  Kimchi is fermented cabbage with spices.. it wasn't gross.. it had a fried egg on top.. which was a little strange :)  And it wasn't as spicy as they say.. it reminded my of taco spice.

  I was able to go to bed around 9 again.. but I woke up at 2 and thought it was 6 again.. its getting annoying that i keep doing that...

   When i woke up this morning, I had little to NO motivation to do anything.  I didnt want to go to work.  But the walk was nice, as it is not warm here anymore.  All the koreans were cold, and i wore a t-shirt and walked.. I was thankful i was not sweating for once, and that i could have a cup of coffee at the school with my morning work.  

To make my day even MORE awesome.. I had somehow lost the key to the English Zone.. yep.. brilliant me. I so totally remember putting it in the drawer before the fire drill yesterday.. but i guess not..

  So i had 2 classes today.. one with Mr. Lee.. which always goes well.  He is a very nice man, and can speak english fairly well.  The other one was with Ms.Kang... umm.. different story there.  She teaches grade 2, but her understanding of me, SUCKS.

The rest of the day i sorta just sat at my desk and fiddled with some of my powerpoints... and played on Facebook.  I was really bored.

   Then i walked home.. tried to figure out my washing machine.. haven't done that yet.  Ate some soup, because Ms. Lee bought it for me, and told me that i should eat something warm.. eating warm foods is important to them..  And now its like 10:48 pm.. its the latest i've stayed up since I have gotten here.  The monday night doesnt count.. because that was terrible sleeping.

  Yay for saturday tomorrow.. the plan is to go and take some pictures of the area.. maybe do some shopping... i got shown the Korean dollar store :P

  If you can all pray extra hard for my weekend that would be great.. i am worried about it being hard.. and getting pretty home sick...

Day 3

Today i am going to write about my day on the day it happens instead of blogging at school when i have free time (which i have a lot of).

  Anyways today started great!  After actually eating supper last night! I slept through the night, after going to bed at 9, i woke up at 6.  I find myself waking up early, so that i have some time to talk to people at home :)  But today i was very tired, my body is defiantly craving sleep..

And i was also able to eat breakfast without feeling sick or anxious.. that is because i know how to get to the school without any problems.  And i can walk to the school year around i figure.  Unless there is a monsoon or something.. lol

  So then i got to school.. and i didnt have classes until like 4th period.. so I worked on some lesson powerpoints and tried to stay awake.. it was pretty hard.

  My classes that i DID have today went pretty easy.  The classes were very interested in meeting me, and had lots of questions for me.  The classes i worked with today were all girls, and they are so nice.  I am a very pretty person in their eyes.  And they complimented my skin.. i had a laugh from that.. remembering my skin back in the day.. gosh.  And part of me see that the Korean skin is not as oily as ours.. so the shine my skin has, which they are jealous of, is actually a bad thing.  The girls also asked if my family all had small faces like me... having a small face in Korea is a good thing.

  The rest of the day was pretty uneventful.

Until we had a fire drill.

Fire drills in Korea are NOTHING like the ones in Canada.  They actually use smoke bombs to set off the fire alarm!  And then the school has to evacuate, but there are so many students.. so it take a little while.  After the homerooms get outside, they are to sit together surrounding the front field at the school *i was going to take pictures today, but it was raining*

Once all the students are out, they begin this long speech in korean that i didnt understand, only that it was really long, and i understood why the kids were not listening.

THEN a FIRE TRUCK shows up.  That doesnt happen in Canada!  The truck drives around the field and parks at the back.

  Then one of the staff lights another smoke bomb and puts it in a box.  I guess there are teams that are trained to use the fire extinguishers.. so they had to try to put out the smoke bomb.  It took about 3 tries.. which is how many teams there was.

   BUT to make sure the box was out, they go and bring out the fire hose out of the school and go on testing it.

I guess it wasn't doing a good enough job, because the Fire truck then turned on its water cannon and started spraying the front field.

  Maybe that is why they talked to much,  they thought that they should get some talking in if the kids were going to get a show.

  After school, I ended up having to go to the Hospital.  Don't worry, I am not sick.  I had to go for some test before i can go to the Immigration Office, and after that FINALLY open a bank account.  So by Monday all my results should be ready, and I only live like 4 min from the Hospital ( i never really hear sirens).  But my arm is KILLING from where they took my blood!   I pretty much bombed my eye test.. lol.. silly contacts not working by themselves.. i need both eyes to see :)

  The cool thing is tonight I am going out to dinner with some people that are all ESL teachers here in Ansan.  Kristin (who worked and lived here before me), was the one who got me in contact with them.  And i met Brian in the elevator on Tuesday... so it will be good to speak english and have these people understand me.

  Oh! and for those who knew about my money problems.. I now have money! The school gave me my advance WITHOUT me having to open my bank account, like they are actually supposed to.  I am very thankful to have money finally.. I can get some food in the house (or not), but no more worries about if something bad happened if i would be really stuck!

   When the weather clears up, I will begin to take pictures of my walk to school and maybe my walk to the Hospital.. and the park infront of my apartment.  I havent explored much else of Ansan.. but thats ok.. I haven't been here long..

  I'm doing well.. thanks for all reading this and caring! Your prayers are greatly felt!

  

Day 2

So my second day. 

It was a good day.  Things went very well.  my first class was a second year class, filled with boys.  and those children are LOUD, and a lot of them do not want to be there or learning English.  Their teacher, Mr. Lee was VERY helpful, and was apologetic that the boys were rude and misbehaving.

  My second class was a little crazy.  Ms. Song doesn't speak English very well, so she had a hard time understanding what I was there for.  Instead of me helping her teach, I was to be in charge of the class of girls. I introduced myself, and then asked them if they had any questions.. but they were very shy and didnt want to ask me anything, they just wanted to talk.  So then Ms. Song made each girl introduce themselves.. that was really hard because everyone was talking over each other... that was a stressful experience.

  I also had my first experience with corporal punishment.  ACK! its intense!  They still smack kids on the hand with rulers and HARD.  They also yell loudly.  I didnt want to look or stare, but i was worried about what is going on.  Ms. Spring even had given me the stick when I was teaching, because when the kids are too loud, you slam it on the desk... or you go and wack the kid that is goofing-off.. i DONT think i could do that!

  I then had lunch with ms.Lee's homeroom.  I am now going to be bringing my own lunch because then i dont have to have that deducted from my pay as well.  And then i can eat my food, and sorta know what i am eating.

  My third class was another class with Mr. Lee.  I got some points with the kids by saying Hello in Korean, but it was another class of boys.. so we got some rude questions.. and already many little boys calling me beautiful and pretty.  I bet i have some little boy fan clubs.

  The last class was with Ms. Choi, and she really knows what she is doing, and is really helpful and understanding.  She is also young, so she knows how I feel.

  Then i did some prep-work for the other teachers.... sat around until i could get my passport back before i went home.  ms. Lee needed it for some paper work.. but i was not going to leave it with her :)

   Then i walked home and made it safely :)  It was a nice cool day yesterday, because it was supposed to rain, but its raining today (day 3).  

   THE GOOD NEWS: I ate supper last night! And I slept NORMALLY.. i went to bed at 9 and slept well until 6!!! 

   There is a chance that I could be normal by the end of the week!!!!!

The first day of classes

So maybe everyone is awaiting to hear how my first day of clases went.
Well here it is.
The first day was pretty interesting, at least GETTING to the school was. I had the hardest time getting a cab (no tears though).. so i started walking in a general way that was pointed out to me. Little did i know that it was a LONG way. I walked to another school, and then there was a round-about ahead of me, and I did not know where to go. So i was finally able to get a taxi.. and showed him where i was supposed to go.. I was about 4 min away from the school, so the taxi ride cost me 1,900 won.. or $1.90.. But i made it to school in the end.
When i got to the school, the first thing we did was meet the principal. I was sorta sweaty from walking.. and very nervous. We had coffee.. they drink it black, but i did notice that the beans that were ground were STARBUCKS beans :). So i meet with her, and then headed up to my office where i work on stuff that i am teaching.. or sit and blogg.. or talk to people on MSN, since you guys have your evening right now, and its my day..
The first class i was in, i just came to introduce myself, and then after some questions from the class, i left.
My second class is behind, so i dont have to be involved in it until the 10 of October. bit of a break. YAY
We then had lunch period. This was interesting because i was to go for a special lunch with the principal, as well as 2 members of what we would call the PTA. They are students moms. Anyways, we went for a traditional Korean meal. There was SO MUCH FOOD. And all of it was very overwhelming. They wanted me to try pretty much everything, and were so kind to me. It sorta made me tear up, because it had been a long day already, and they were so very kind. The tears made the PTA ladies tear up too.
They were very surprized to hear that I was 21. I said that it explains why i look so little and scared. I guess they are not used to such young people.. I also didnt tell them that i turn 22 in November.
They talk so quickly in Korea.. so i just sit there and smile at them, because i can tell when they are talking about me, and smiling makes it look like I sorta know what is going on.
So those few tears that came out at lunch got everyone pretty worried about me.. more kindness. On the way back to the school, we stopped so that one mom could buy me some sandwhiches for home.. and then when i was leaving the other mom sent up some popcorn, Coke, and some meat patty thing. The principal made sure that someone was to walk home with me, and take me for more grocery shopping.. and just to answer my questions. That was really nice, and now i know how to get to the school a lot shorter ( I walked this morning, and if i leave early enough, i can follow students.. but be at the school at 8.. intead of 8:20.. give me more time for working).
After lunch I had a seond year class.. so i just read some stuff. that was the first semi-teaching experience.. it went fine.
Then there was the afternoon where i finished working on some stuff for the teachers.
The evening was filled with grocery shopping
and sleeping
I was so tired by the end of the day

my apartment

i have photos up of my apartment in my Picasa account.  I believe if you look up melanie.rowaan@gmail.com  you will find it.

Its also in a slideshow on the side.

In korea

Here is the long awaited post... I AM IN KOREA!
I guess the best place to start would be with my flight.
I left Toronto at 10:30 Canadian time. That flight was delayed in getting to Chicago because of fog in Chicago. But the flight went smoothly and was really easy. The stress started when I got to Chicago. I got SO lost in that air port. I was very thankful for the amount of time that I had, because I checked into my flight at about 12 noon Chicago time (which is an hour later the Hamilton area), and the flight left at 1 pm. So after a lot of tears and just stressing... i got on my flight and settled down for a 14 hour flight. I ate the lunch that they served, and watched a movie. This was all in the United States still. The flight took a very interesting path. We went up through the states, and then crossed over in to Manitoba, and then into Saskatchewan. From there we kept going up into the Northwest Territories. Then into Alaska, right a long th coast of it. From there we crossed the Ocean and then flew over Russia and downwards, towards Seoul. I didn't look out the window much because they darkened the cabin to encourage sleep. I think i got about 5 hours of sleep through out the flight. And got really sick feeling over Alaska, because we had been flying for so long. I only ate one meal on the plane because of that.. and all the smells were getting to me.
On the flight I had a very cute Korean baby sitting beside me, and she did really well for flying for so long.
Arriving was very easy as well. I went through customs without trouble, it may have been the fact that they sent me through one where the guy didn't speak english, so he said nothing to me. American customs in Toronto was harder, because I had just said good-bye to my family, and was an emotional wreck.. plus some of the things on my card were not filled out properly.. and i couldnt focus on what he was saying... but i got through.. and its a good thing not wearing pockets, because then with security nothing went off.
So i have my own stuido apartment. Its small, but it will be home for a year. My bedroom is a loft, and i am for once thankful that i am short, becuase I have to bend down even up there. I will put up pictures soon. I went shopping with my co-teacher yesterday, and got some things.. but forgot to get a lot of stuff. So i need to go shopping tonight, so that i can get some more things. I bought orange jucie last night, and i am very happy to say, it tastes normal.. the only little off thing i have had so far is the bread, but i will get used to that.
The bathroom is another interesting thing. I have an American-style toilet, which is a good thing. But i do not have a seperate shower. Its part of my sink. The sink is in an enclosed area, and on my tap, there is a shower control. So i have a very strange shower. I took a shower at like 4 am this morning because I could not sleep. It was a very different experience.
My kitchen is tiny, and i have a washing machine in my kitchen too.
Pictures will definatly help explain things.
I have internet in my house, and have a computer here at the school, so contacting me is very very simple, and i am very thankful for that.
Right now I am at the school. It is Tuesday at 9:33. I have my first class at 9:55. Today i am just watching, but i will be meeting the students and such. They are cute, they bow to you when you walk in, because I am a teacher, and they respect me. makes you go wow. I have met the principle today, and she was wonderful. She is very kind. They were discussing my name, and there is a Melanie in "Gone with the Wind", and she told me that i looked like how she would imagine the character Melanie to look. So, as you can see, she is very sweet. I get to go somewhere special with them today for lunch, which is a very special thing as usally the teacher eats with the students.
I got pretty lost this morning. I was supposed to take a taxi, but i was having NO LUCK with getting one, so i began walking, and was walking in the right direction, and was pretty close when i felt very lost. when i felt very lost, i did get a taxi, and he drove me the way that i need to go, and it did not take very long. It is a 20 min walk. I may take a taxi home tonight just so that i can get that path right, but i don't remember how to say my address. I will have to ask my co-teacher that before I go home. Or maybe be confident enough to walk home.
The weather here is very humid, and very cloudy. I havent seen the sun yet, but it hasn't rained either. I was very sweaty when i arrived at the school, and then right away had to meet the principle... she was kind enough to let me borrow her fan, and to do much to make sure i was comfortable, like turn on a fan. I am also very thankful that i CAN drink coffee black, because thats all they do here, no sugar or cream offered.
Well, i should be going now. I have a class at second period, which is at 9:55, and I believe it is in the English zone.. which is on the first floor.. but thats all i know right now... my co-teacher is a little busy all the time.
Oh, funny news, I am wearing socks in flip-flops because they all wear slippers in the school, so i will have really sore feet by the end of the day, and i will have to get used to wearing socks in sandels... DANG

FINAL INFORMATION

Ok. So a crazy week has passed. I finally got my VISA back on Friday September 12. That was the day that we also got my flight ticket finalized. I spent the week getting info from my Korean co-teacher, as well as from my contacts here in Canada. I was at first flying out on the 19th, and that was from my contacts, on the day they told me that, my co-teacher told me that they could not pick me up on the weekend, and that I would then need to stay in a hotel.. yikes. So we figured it out in the end.
I am now flying out of Toronto on September 21, 2008 at 10 am. That sends me to Chicago by 11, and then I get to hang out at the airport from 11 till 1 when I am going to be flying out to Korea. I should be landing in Korea by 3 pm on the 22nd. I get to go over the time date line, so thats why I am a day ahead of you all.. its a 17 hour flight or so..
South Korea is a 13 hour time difference... so I will do my best to write on my blog when I can't find time to call on Skype (add me if you want to talk to me)...
Hope you all will read this... and keep me in your prayers.. we are getting close to the date... 6 more days :)

*edit*

So, edit to previous post.  I was able to email my Korean co-teacher, and she asked that I do not come during the Korean Thanksgiving, which was occurring on the 16-19th.  We are now aiming for leaving on the 20th, or some time after that.  Yeah, its crazy how things are so up in the air.. but it happens

Closer still

Well, who would have thought that I would be writing what I am going to write.  I may be leaving sooner then we anticipated.

  The current news is that when I receive my passport back from the Korean consulate (stamped with my VISA hopefully),  that I will be heading out as soon as possible.  That means that I can be out of Canada before September 18th.  SHOCK!

  This news is pretty exciting for me, and nerve wracking, because part of me was very prepared to be leaving on the 18th, it was a good date.  But now if everything is pushed ahead, then I may feel a little rushed.  Yet, I am ready.  All of my bags are packed, I have maybe 2 or 3 little things to do yet, and then I will be totally ready to go.  Its pretty amazing how much peace I feel about going...

  Thats the strangest thing.  I am done school! I worked at the school when all the students were coming in, and it wasn't that strange feeling to not be going to classes or having to do things related to school.  I just felt like staff at the school, and normal to see everyone leaving.  I think everyone coming back to school just added a little stress to me.  There was more people around, more people to say good-bye to, and more people that had to see me cry.  That was something that got me.  We have regulars at work, and on Tuesday, EVERYTHING was making me cry (i left on wednesday, so I didn't have anymore crying to do.. i got it all out. So if I didn't cry around you on wednesday, that is why).

  So I am ready to go!

PLEASE send me an email with SKYPE contact information if you want to talk to me while I am gone... or your email address, and phone number and mailing address if that is the way you would like me to contact you!

What I am going to be doing

  Right now most people know that I am going to Korea, but most do not know what I am going to be doing while I am there, other then that I am teaching English.

  I will be living in a city called Ansan.  Imagine the distance that Mississagua is from Toronto, that is how far Ansan is from Seoul.  There is a direct subway line to Seoul from Ansan, so getting to the BIG city will be easy, and also will make visiting others much easier.

  I have a position at a middle school in Ansan.  That means I will be teaching 12-14 year olds.  I am looking forward to this, because that means that there is a higher chance of dialogue with my students, and a lower chance of me going crazy from singing "Mary had a little lamb" for a whole year :) 

   If you would like to see the city that I am moving to, here is the link:  http://ansan.iansan.net/english/index.asp

This site is in english, so you will be able to click around and actually understand what is being said.

  I also have a link for the middle school that I will be teaching at: http://www.wonil.ms.kr/

This site is NOT in english, so enjoy the pictures!

     So we also have good news.  I have finally gotten my VISA confirmation number, so this weekend I have to convince my parents to take me to get my passport photos taken AGAIN and to get a money order done.. since parents know how to do those things better then I do, and they have a car :)

  Now we just have to get everything sent out, and hope that the interview goes well.