Sunday

So my sunday... good day... 

I slept the longest i have here yet.. til 10.. because i forced myself to stay in bed..  But then I got ready, and went outside to read till about 12.. because i was going to be picked up.

  I had lunch plans with one of my co-teachers at Wonil, Ms. Moon. 

So her and her family took me out to the downtown area in Ansan to TGIF.. an american restaurant here in Ansan.  She has the 2 cutest little kids.. and a very nice husband.. very kind (that is a key thing in Korea relationships).  So we had a nice lunch, talked about some Canadian things, since they both studied at Brock for a period of time.

  After lunch they took me to one of the peaks here in Ansan, so that I could see the city, and as well, get a little view of the city.. it was cool to see the shape of the city, as well as the industrial area that is so key in the google maps thingy.  

After the peak, we went to the Ansan lake park.. yeah, they call it a lake.. its a pond.  Really.. and its a small pond.. smaller then the "lake" I walked around on Saturday.  But it does have a river, and its full of trout.. but it is illegal to fish them.. so there was a lot of trout swimming around in the rather shallow water.  There were also fish fishing for the trout.. so we watched those with the kids.. and just had a nice afternoon .

  I got home around 4:30.. and i'm pretty tired... if I am busy.. i dont think about things..

Other news: I have been emailing with someone who lives in Ansan, and has for 7 years.. he goes to a church here.. so instead of going to Seoul, there may be a church in the general area.. it still may be complicated for me, but in time perhaps I will be able to get it.  And taxis always know where things are.. and they are not too expensive.  So that should make people happy, and i hope it ends well.. because a church community could be helpful.

  A small other thing.. i was offered another position at a different school.  A school that has 3 other people from Redeemer teaching at it.  I turned down the offer, because its not the school that I am having problems with.  Its me.

  I think one of the biggest things is that i am so unsettled.  I don't have my alien registration card yet, and that means that I do not have a bank account, and without a bank account, I can't get a cell phone.  So I am very unsettled here still.  I also dont have a lot of money.. since I don't get paid until the 25th.  

  I struggle with having the faith in myself to be independent, when I still have to be so dependent on the school.  It was easy when we moved when I was younger, Dad and Mom did it all, we just had to learn to make friends, which was super easy when you are little.

  I think there are other things that are making me unsettled in general.  Being alone is emphasized by some things back at home.. relationships... and trying how to make friendships work.. without romantic interest getting in the way.. and then the feeling of being single so much... its emphasized here.  Especially when the married couples have someone with them.. and those that came here with their boyfriend of girlfriend.. they have someone to turn to.

  Another thing.. when you are really low.. you start to doubt your faith.  I will admit that my faith was not the "liveliest" before i left.  I believe in God, and know he loves me.. but I was in the spot when the bible reading and the prayer slips away.. and when you go to church just because its a motion that you do.  Things were fine.. and I wasn't challenging my faith.  I have the benefit (and curse) of a strong religion background.  I know lots of things, and I believe them, but its hard to act them out all the time.  

  And so when i hit the rough times, its like I've heard it all before.. So i get a little frustrated with everyone. because i know that they are saying.. I just am mad at me that i can't just accept it, and do it.  Plus everyone is saying... but they are not in the situation I am in..  no one else is on the other side of the world by themselves.  Struggling with their self-esteem and getting mad at themselves because they thought they were over those issues..

  Well.. so now those people who experienced my crashing on friday.. I hope that helps you understand a little better.. And for the rest, I guess that helps you know what to pray for.  I am praying now and reading my Bible (but that is because things are rough right now).

  Have a good day everyone.. its my bedtime soon (ok so its 7).  

This week is mid-terms for my school.. NO TEACHING...

and then the week after I have my training week... so then I will meet new people who are all in the same boat as me, and perhaps that will help with the alone feeling.

         love

Now....

So, I haven't posted in awhile.  I read the last post and laughed at myself.  Happy... wow..  one day things are great, the next day it all comes crashing down and I struggle with being here.

  So what have I done here since that Tuesday.  

Thursday night we went to the downtown area here in Ansan.  We went out for dalki galbi.. which is like fried rice and meat.. There I met a few more of the foreigners, as well as 3 Korean students that know the group.  That was the evening I met Kirsten, she lives in our apartment building and teaches at a High School here.  I was talking to her about still having a hard time with the grocery store, just finding healthy options for food.

  So Friday morning we went to the grocery store, and did some walking around.  She also taught me how to use the washing machine.. since it was in Korean.. sadly it does not have a dryer.. so my apartment was covered in laundry.. at least it got things really dry.  Then Friday went downhill.  I felt so alone again. and home sick.  I really dont feel right here.  There is something in ME right now that isn't settled here.  Korea is great and my teaching job is lovely.  So i was a mess all of friday.

    Brian sent me a message on friday night, and recommend on saturday, during the day, that i go to Hawrang Park, so I did.  I got myself out of the house and walked the way to the park, after I found it on google maps and saw that i just had to walk straight until i got to a big parking lot.   So I walked around the park and took some pictures.  I also walked around the pond, it was about a 2km walk.   It was a good walk, I took some time to think.. and to still randomly cry.  I was looking at a map of Ansan and it made me cry....   The park also had a museum of Modern Art.  So i went it.  It was very strange.  Like one art was a documentation of one mans skin disease on his hands and feet.  He even took samples of his skin and other gross fluids.  Modern Art is a very interesting thing.   At the park there were some girls from my school there actually so they politely said "hello", and asked if I was hiking, and then a friend from another school said i was "pretty".  I also got "attacked" by small children.  When i met my students they do their best to talk to  me in English and then there is often silence.  With the little kids, they just started going on and on in Korean.. and I know NOTHING.. none of it made sense :)  and they wanted to follow me around, and talk.. so I went outside, trying to find the group that they might belong to.  But then I found myself surrounded by lines of groups of children.  But all they said to me was Hi! And waved.  So i waved to a lot of kids.  I felt like the queen.. haha.

  Saturday night Brian showed me Itaewon.  Its in Seoul, and it is pretty much a Western area, the stores are all Western and there are so many non-Koreans there.  So I have been to Seoul now.  And I also have an idea of how to use the subway.  I don't think I will ever go to Seoul by myself though, because it is very large and just not the safest for going to by yourself.  

Back to Itaweon.. we went to an English bookstore there, and that made me happy.  I got 2 books, since I had finished mine that I brought with me.  And we had grabbed gyros :)  So I had food that is slightly normal to me for once.  And it gets better.. after the bookstore, we went for ice cream :) I hadn't had ice cream since leaving Canada.. and we went to Cold Stone Creamery... sorta fancy ice cream.. it was good!  It was that or Starbucks for me (since I dont have any money) and the ice cream was worth it.

   After walking around Itaewon a little to see what was all there.. we saw the Rocky Mountain Tavern (Canadian Bar), and it even sells "Grasshopper" (thats from Alberta times with Dan and I.. and Keith, Dan's twin).   There are a lot of Western shops there.. but maybe not the best place to buy clothes, because it would be expensive.. you can find cheaper places Brian was saying.

  We then went to a little place called "All that Jazz", to hear some Jazz.  It was really nice... the music was really well done.. and it was just nice to be out of the house.  Plus Brian was the one who wanted to be there.. so I didn't feel like I was dragging someone out of their life, and it was very nice to be included in the activities of other people.  And I like Jazz.. so much skill in that..

  So life in Korea is good.  Now if I could only become good feeling here.

Tuesday

Ladies and Gentlemen.. I am happy to announce that I HAD A GOOD DAY TODAY!

  Yes, you have heard it right!  

I was sleepy when i woke up this morning, and not really in the mood to go to school.. but its a good thing to do.  

  I was cheerful today.  I worked on powerpoint all morning,  as I only had one class at last period today.   The powerpoint went very well, and I also got things for my house from the school *they paid for it, not me*

  I was happy enough to be humming when i was eating an apple.  Apples make me happy.. it was a nice, crisp apple :)  And they remind me of fall, and it its getting to be fall like here.. sorta..

   This afternoon was also spent of ppt's, and some activity thinking.

My class that I assisted in today, went SUPER well.. at least that is what I thought.  I had a fun activity.. which was a poem about being sick.. which means for the first time I actually supplemented a lesson :P

  And I made elbow noodles with tomato sauce for dinner, BUT that meant that I missed out on having dinner with Brian and another person in our building.. I keep missing them, as I missed people last night when I was grocery shopping. (i got chocolate.. yay for my sweet tooth) I am very thankful that people are trying to see me at least :)

  And we are making plans for dinner on Thursday night.. as we all who teach, DON'T have classes on Friday.. so we can stay out late and not worry about teaching.. YAY for a National Holiday!  That means my week is very close to being done :)  Only 2 more teaching days.. and I don't have any 1 grade classes this week... do doo doo.. *happy mood song* 

OH! I saw the funniest looking dog today.. It was about the size of size of MY hands *i have small hands, really small hands*.. This dog could fit in a small tea cup.. and it was fluffy.. and wearing a sweater.. I saw it walking home from school.. and it really made me laugh inside. And the fact that dude in the relationship had to carry the puppies PINK housing purse.. silly Koreans..

  

Thanks again for all the prayers and love.. I am feeling them :)

Address

Ok, so i know my address.. sorta.. You will have to look up on the internet what the postal code is here.. if there is one needed. So this will make things even more confusing.. the Postal code is 425.. BUT i also live in apt. number 425.. SO i don't know how to explain this.

This is the formate the address should have:

person's name: Melanie Rowaan

house number: 425 NeulBom Street, Officetel

Subdivison: Seonbu-dong, Danwongu

City Name: Ansan

Province: Gyeonggido

Country Name: South Korea

So now people can send me stuff :) I would love mail.. but it might be hard for me to mail everyone who send things. because here in Korea mail in not common.. as most things are commicated through e-mail.

Weekend

So my saturday was ok.  I was really happy to get to talk to people on Skype, and the weather was nice so i went for a walk and took pictures.  Then i just spent the rest of the day relaxing and watching a movie.  Ate some soup and another scary sandwich...

  Now its Sunday morning, and I'm a wreck.  My nose was runny when I woke up, this is relevant because the teacher beside me is sick.  I dont want to get sick.   I'm also super homesick feeling right now.  

  I miss normal.  I miss things making sense.  I miss being able to go outside and not feel lost.  I miss my mom yelling upstairs on Sunday mornings for me to get up.  I miss my dog hogging the bed.  I just miss home so much.. and i dont know what to do with myself.  I don't know if I can do this.  No, I can do this... It just hurts a lot now.  I really want April to come quickly.  

  Its been a week since i've left home.. wow.... but still I don't think I was as ready for this as I had thought.

  I need support right now... and a BIG hug.  I miss that.  I can interact with people, but it will be a long time until I will be able to hug someone... a very long time at this point.

Friday

Oh, its nice to say that.  my week is done...

  Things went alright today.

Last night i met up with Brian, who is also from Canada for dinner.  He showed me some of the places near the apartment, and got me a bus pass which was awesome.. now I just have to learn the whole bussing thing.  OH! and i tired Kimchi fried rice.  Kimchi is fermented cabbage with spices.. it wasn't gross.. it had a fried egg on top.. which was a little strange :)  And it wasn't as spicy as they say.. it reminded my of taco spice.

  I was able to go to bed around 9 again.. but I woke up at 2 and thought it was 6 again.. its getting annoying that i keep doing that...

   When i woke up this morning, I had little to NO motivation to do anything.  I didnt want to go to work.  But the walk was nice, as it is not warm here anymore.  All the koreans were cold, and i wore a t-shirt and walked.. I was thankful i was not sweating for once, and that i could have a cup of coffee at the school with my morning work.  

To make my day even MORE awesome.. I had somehow lost the key to the English Zone.. yep.. brilliant me. I so totally remember putting it in the drawer before the fire drill yesterday.. but i guess not..

  So i had 2 classes today.. one with Mr. Lee.. which always goes well.  He is a very nice man, and can speak english fairly well.  The other one was with Ms.Kang... umm.. different story there.  She teaches grade 2, but her understanding of me, SUCKS.

The rest of the day i sorta just sat at my desk and fiddled with some of my powerpoints... and played on Facebook.  I was really bored.

   Then i walked home.. tried to figure out my washing machine.. haven't done that yet.  Ate some soup, because Ms. Lee bought it for me, and told me that i should eat something warm.. eating warm foods is important to them..  And now its like 10:48 pm.. its the latest i've stayed up since I have gotten here.  The monday night doesnt count.. because that was terrible sleeping.

  Yay for saturday tomorrow.. the plan is to go and take some pictures of the area.. maybe do some shopping... i got shown the Korean dollar store :P

  If you can all pray extra hard for my weekend that would be great.. i am worried about it being hard.. and getting pretty home sick...

Day 3

Today i am going to write about my day on the day it happens instead of blogging at school when i have free time (which i have a lot of).

  Anyways today started great!  After actually eating supper last night! I slept through the night, after going to bed at 9, i woke up at 6.  I find myself waking up early, so that i have some time to talk to people at home :)  But today i was very tired, my body is defiantly craving sleep..

And i was also able to eat breakfast without feeling sick or anxious.. that is because i know how to get to the school without any problems.  And i can walk to the school year around i figure.  Unless there is a monsoon or something.. lol

  So then i got to school.. and i didnt have classes until like 4th period.. so I worked on some lesson powerpoints and tried to stay awake.. it was pretty hard.

  My classes that i DID have today went pretty easy.  The classes were very interested in meeting me, and had lots of questions for me.  The classes i worked with today were all girls, and they are so nice.  I am a very pretty person in their eyes.  And they complimented my skin.. i had a laugh from that.. remembering my skin back in the day.. gosh.  And part of me see that the Korean skin is not as oily as ours.. so the shine my skin has, which they are jealous of, is actually a bad thing.  The girls also asked if my family all had small faces like me... having a small face in Korea is a good thing.

  The rest of the day was pretty uneventful.

Until we had a fire drill.

Fire drills in Korea are NOTHING like the ones in Canada.  They actually use smoke bombs to set off the fire alarm!  And then the school has to evacuate, but there are so many students.. so it take a little while.  After the homerooms get outside, they are to sit together surrounding the front field at the school *i was going to take pictures today, but it was raining*

Once all the students are out, they begin this long speech in korean that i didnt understand, only that it was really long, and i understood why the kids were not listening.

THEN a FIRE TRUCK shows up.  That doesnt happen in Canada!  The truck drives around the field and parks at the back.

  Then one of the staff lights another smoke bomb and puts it in a box.  I guess there are teams that are trained to use the fire extinguishers.. so they had to try to put out the smoke bomb.  It took about 3 tries.. which is how many teams there was.

   BUT to make sure the box was out, they go and bring out the fire hose out of the school and go on testing it.

I guess it wasn't doing a good enough job, because the Fire truck then turned on its water cannon and started spraying the front field.

  Maybe that is why they talked to much,  they thought that they should get some talking in if the kids were going to get a show.

  After school, I ended up having to go to the Hospital.  Don't worry, I am not sick.  I had to go for some test before i can go to the Immigration Office, and after that FINALLY open a bank account.  So by Monday all my results should be ready, and I only live like 4 min from the Hospital ( i never really hear sirens).  But my arm is KILLING from where they took my blood!   I pretty much bombed my eye test.. lol.. silly contacts not working by themselves.. i need both eyes to see :)

  The cool thing is tonight I am going out to dinner with some people that are all ESL teachers here in Ansan.  Kristin (who worked and lived here before me), was the one who got me in contact with them.  And i met Brian in the elevator on Tuesday... so it will be good to speak english and have these people understand me.

  Oh! and for those who knew about my money problems.. I now have money! The school gave me my advance WITHOUT me having to open my bank account, like they are actually supposed to.  I am very thankful to have money finally.. I can get some food in the house (or not), but no more worries about if something bad happened if i would be really stuck!

   When the weather clears up, I will begin to take pictures of my walk to school and maybe my walk to the Hospital.. and the park infront of my apartment.  I havent explored much else of Ansan.. but thats ok.. I haven't been here long..

  I'm doing well.. thanks for all reading this and caring! Your prayers are greatly felt!