so its been a really long time

Wow.. so I was looking at my blog, and looking at how long it might be since I have last written.
I think its getting harder and harder to think of things to write. Life here has gotten to be pretty normal. So normal in fact that I am getting comfortable with the people here.. and making the wonderful stupid mistakes that I always do around people. You know, like when I forget to THINK before I talk. I always seem to mess up relationships when I get comfortable with people. That was last week, a bit of a kick to deal with.
God has been doing that often here. Teaching me so much stuff. And its hard! I think the hardest part is finding the time to absorb what he is teaching me... because right now school is so busy, and I just dont have time to think.
I actually got sick last week Thursday. I took a day off, and spent a good amount of time thinking, praying, crying, and only being ill once. I will be happy when December is over, because I have done so much work this month, and that is what is draining me so much.
December for me, holds a month of extra classes. So every day after school, from 3:30-5:10, i have 20 students come and learn English with me. I enjoy the class, as their level of English is higher, and they want to learn.. but I am teaching this class by myself... so I have to create ways of getting the students to work with me. And I still have to remember to stop making my lessons so hard... they seem easy to a native speaker.. but they're not so simple, I think.
Anyways.. those extra classes go all the way till the 29th of December.. so a lot of work.. and with it being at the end of the day, I am always more brain-dead then.. and tired...
What else is going on... working hard... umm.. OH! i know
My Saturday (so 2 days ago), I went to Yongsan.. or as I call it, the land of shiny electronics. So I was going to meet Brian there, since I knew I wouldn't be able to do the whole store thing by myself. So I took the subway by myself.. forgetting my map. To start it off, I went 4 stops to far past where Brian and I were to meet, so we met up in the middle and then walked to the land of shiny electronics. Once we got there, it was really cool to see what was all there. and you get hasseled because all of the sales people are selling the same things, but if you asking around you can get better deals.. which we did. it was fun.
Now getting home. Oh dear. So Brian directed me to the right subway and the right track to get onto. Ok, so far so good. This train, we thought, would go down automatically, and then bring me to the stop where I needed to make my transfer.
It didn't
So i ended up travelling all the way to Incheon.. yeah.. great eh.. I asked the train people there for a map. Got directed to the right train and right track, and went back to where I was supposed to get off the train, so I could head downwards towards home. So i get on a train. This train, instead of continuing down the line, goes to this off side area, which was a giant KTX station. So I begin just a bit of a panic attack. This was not so fun.. but at least they had nice bathrooms, so I used them.. found the track that would lead me back. Got off at the station before it went into the stupid off link. I then found some Korean women who were travelling together... and asked them if this train would connect me to the station where I needed to transfer one last time. And it was! There was also a lady who had to transfer at the same place as me. So she nicely, dragged, me around :). There was also some university students on the train that spoke better English, so I could ask them to double check.
So i finally made it on to the train that would take me home. I was lucky that i made it in the time i did, because the trains DO stop running at some point in the night.
I took a taxi home instead of bussing.. just because i couldn't deal with the stress, and I didn't know how much longer the busses would run at that time.
I have a new rule... well 3. Never forget MAP! Never get on not packed trains! And Don't travel alone again.. I get way to lost....
It was an ok experience. At least the trains are nice... it was dark, so I couldn't see a lot more of Korea.. and my panic attack wasn't so major.. only teared a little when I had to talk on the phone... but if I wasn't talking, I wasn't freaking out to much. And now i know for next time...
Sunday this weekend we got SNOW! I took Kay outside in it! There wasnt a lot of snow on the ground, so she really didnt know what it was.. she just thought we were outside for fun.. and that she was getting a little wet.. Now its raining.. and the weather is supposed to go back to 13 sometime this week. Weather in Korea is strange.
This week is exams for the students, so at least I will get this week to plan. Hopefully I can stay focused on planning.... I often get distracted, because it really is hard to sit and plan lessons ALL day.
Well, hopefully everything goes well this week, and then December is almost done. I only have the 25th off.. and then back to teaching until the end of December. After that the school is out for about 2 months.. but I am here every day.. woot....
BUT then my parents come Feb. 5-15!!! Very exciting. And I get to have those days off and get to enjoy time seeing Korea with people actually!
Ok.. time to start working.. I think...

its been awhile

so i have some time on my hands. I have a good amount of my work started, and my brain is just tired and doesn't want to get any further on it.
So what has happened since I have last blogged..
Well, almost 2 weeks have passed.
Ok, so highlights
Biggest one is Vern getting released from the hospital.
Also like I said in my last post, I have been a lot more sociable here with our lovely foreigner group. This is a sign of adjustment. I am accepting relationships here, because I wont be leaving them all of a sudden. I was detached for the first month because I was so fragile and didnt want to go through working on relationships and then leaving, if it was to come to that.
Lets see, I have gone out for dinner with people often and had lots of nice conversations, I have gone to a Jazz bar to hear Brian and some guys play with a WHOLE lot of other foreigners. I have gone out to Hongday, to the Oi bar and set off a car alarm with my leg.. oh dear...
I have gone to Oido.. and shot off fireworks there after people ate a lot of shell fish.
The WORST highlight would be me and ms lee. we are not getting a long very well. plus there is a great lack of communication with the school to me, and lots of other great junk
So that is the prayer request of this year. That I will be able to learn to work with Ms Lee . It will be me that will have to learn from this. And if I make it through this (which i will BUT), this experience will help me with the rest of my life, because its not like we can get along with everyone we will ever work with.
Well, we can be thankful that I can get over that though, thats why shooting fireworks helped.. it would have had to be something destructive to help me.. or me kicking a soccer ball at something... but it seems that girls cant play soccer here. BUT I might just decided to go play with my students sometime.. just because one of the teachers said it would be a cool thing to do.. hmmmmm.
This weekend i am NOT going to do anything. I need a rest. Last weekend was busy.. and so have the past few days, so Wednesday and Thursday are to be my days to relax and then Friday I have to take Kay to the vet, and I have small plans after that. Saturday maybe the weather will be nice, and Kay and I can go for a walk or something, and just sleep :) and Sunday will be church.:)

mailing stuff to Mel

ok.. so I dont know if people will even EVER send stuff (other then my mum and dad)...
BUT due to me thinking that I wrote the home address, I am going to give you the school address....
Wonil Middle School, 1062
Sunbou-dong, Danwon-gu
Ansan City, Kyonggi-do, Korea

Just put my name on it too :) The office always has people in it, and they know that if its in english, its for me :)

so thats the addy...
(theres not much for an update... other then me being alot more socialble as of late with people here..)

another week gone by

Hey everyone.. so another blog about my past week.
Life in Korea is becoming normal.. and therefor might seem pretty boring, especially if you are following Brian and Erin's exciting adventures.
Its a good thing though that life is normal here. Plus I dont do too much travelling around right now, because Kay needs me to be home with her.. since I feel bad leaving her on the weekends, when I leave her all week. Also my parents are planning on coming to visit, and I would like to save a lot of travel places for when they come, so that I can share my experiences with people.. not just my camera...
So this week.. well it was filled with fustrations that come normally with work. A lot of lack of communication.. me being fustrated and being a girl.. so everything was making me cry..
We had our festival on the tuesday, so I had no classes, but I had to do a lot of work in the end still.. and no one told me what was going on.
Then the next day we had a changed schedual, and no one told me the changed times... I was so fustrated with the school, that I made dinner plans with people because I needed to vent. And it was really great that I did, because I had a major dutch Bingo with a friend of Brians. I know both sides of her family,went to the same high school as her (LDCSS). So we talked a lot about home and that helped me feel a little less stressed out :)
And then thursday i was just cranky, but i survived... and had a dinner out again.. which was good.. Nikia had had the bad day that day...
and Friday was a looong day.. but it was done, and then i went home.. and hung out with Kay and just relaxed.
Saturday it rained here, so I went out and bought a mat for my floor, so i have something to sit on now.. and then spent the rest of the day, well, not moving much
Sunday was church, and then lunch with a lady i met at GEPIK training.. so that was good.. and then going home and doing more sitting around.. very nice...
So that is Korea now for me. And now the weather is turning.. so it might be harder to do stuff on the weekends, as much of the interesting things here are outside.. so I might not be doing much with my weekends... plus Ansan is super boring.. so maybe I will have to do stuff.. I will talk with my other native friends.. and see what happens.. stay tuned for updates
So my friends surgry.. it was this week.. and it went really well. It took 5 hours, but Vernon is doing great, for something as bad as what happened. God's hand has definatly been on this, and still is :)

something different, and perhaps hopeful

I am going to do something that is different then what I usually do..
Instead of just an update, I am going to write.
But, we'll start with an update. My weekend was very peaceful, Kay and I did nothing all day Saturday. well, we did sleep in till 8:30, and then we had a nice relaxing morning. Then in the afternoon we went to the park and just sat in the grass in the sunshine. Super lovely weather, it was supposed to rain.
And my sunday I went to Church, and this is what I want to write about, and its connected to something in Saturday as well.
So before I left, a lot of people wondered what would happen church wise, and so did I. I was hearing from some people a lot of worry about what church would be like, and that it may not be what we think church should be. But i am experiencing the opposite. I go to a large church here in Ansan. Korea is actually one of the largest Protestant countries in the world. There are churches on every corner... or every buliding almost, and there are a lot of buildings here.
People here are very vocal about Christianity, and believe that EVERYONE should be saved. Like saturday, while i was in the park, i was in the grass with kay.. just relaxing, and this lady comes up to me, this conversation is all in Korean on her side, and English on mine, and a one or 2 words in english from her. She asked where I was from, and where I was teaching.. Her son goes to my school. She then decided that I need God. The thing is that it is often assumed that because I am a Foreigner, I dont have a belief. I've been prayed for on the subway.. for my salvation, though, not my spiritual health. Anyway, back to Saturday. This lady did not understand me when I said I am a Christian, I believe in God, I go to church. She kept pushing.. the english that came out, was Heavenly matter, and you church, go now. That was a little bit fustrating because pushing God at people like that does nothing. And it wasn't like i could just get up and walk away, because she is a parent of one of my students.. so i said it was lunch time.. and I told her to find me on Tuesday (our schools festival), and we can have a translator.. and I can tell her that I am a Christian... I was a little angry after that.. fustrated...
So back to Dongsan. Its a HUGE church and it has a English service. The english service is great to have.. but the preaching, well that is where I am looking for more. Pastor Nick has the passion, but he needs training.. or it might be me.. right now what he is saying, it doesn't move me to think...
So after church on sunday, we went for free noodles and coffee after the service. I went with Melidy and Sarah.. two other english teachers.. and after we had our noodles, we were walking to get the coffee, and we went and peeked in on a worship service that was going on. And there was God...
That worship was passionate, and even though i couldn't understand the words, you could feel the passion, and the presence of the Father there. So no more doubts about God not being there. The hairs on my arms were standing up while we where standing there. Can you think of what Heaven will be like.. it will be like that.. so many languages coming together to worship our Father *but then we will be able to understand it all* It was refreshing to see that.. and great.
This week has also been another reminder of God's purpose in our lives. When I was thinking of coming here, I wondered how God would use me in a land where I dont understand people, and they dont understand me. And when things were rough, I wondered if God was still with me here.. i felt so distant and alone.. all over.. alone from people, alone from God. But i took that situation, and told myself to pick it up.. A cheerful heart is a decision. Same with the relationship.. i have to work on it to feel God. So with a new attitude to here, and a puppy to distract me, we have begun the process of becoming comfortable in Korea, and a new person then what I was when I got here.
With that change, God saw I was ready I guess. He had reasons for sending me to Korea. He put me in the hallway with Kay at the right time this past Wednesday. He has put me through my life journey to prepare me for what I might have to say, or do. He gave me the heart that I have for a reason. "For such a time as this".
I am in Korea for a reason. But I am holding on, because once God starts, you can sorta assume that its just the tip of the ice burg. Who knows what else God will bring into my life here. I just have to be open to what He might want. And I'm ok with that.
I have been doing so much growth here.. its scary. Sometimes I dont recognize myself when I look in the mirror.. or when I look inside myself. I look older (it might be being tired).. and the things that come out of me, are much more mature. I no longer have to play the roll of the crazy goofy kid that most people thought I was...
When I get home, i have a feeling that most people who have not walked along side me in this journey, will not recognize me. And friends that have "walked away", may not fix any longer, because of this new person I am... or they will not recognize me anymore.. and i can't let myself side into the comfortable, silly kid I was. I need to stay in this rough walk, where crap is thrown at me, and I accept it. Were i can be the person I am becoming.. it may be uncomfortable, but its what I am becoming now. There are benifits to leaving, because the true friends are seperated from the not, and this way is a way of closure.. a nice end. And sure I wont call it end forever, because God does what He needs.. but this feels like an end to some, and a beginning to others. The true relationships have become more intense, and have grown to levels i could not imagine. I dont know what i would do without the re-assurance that Jeannine will still be there when I get back :) and I love how I have a new relationship with Amanda ( i see myself so much in her.. so get ready Amanda, if your life takes a similiar path to mine).. and Dan and I... there is a level of dialogue there that amazes me... not surface talk which I usually have guys, because boys are sometimes pretty shallow :P and i need deep
Being here has brought other challenges, perhaps not only for me, but for other people. I want to be able to cause people to feel challenged. I want people to begin to see where they are in their lives as well. To see our own masks.. or our flaws, or our hang-ups, our emotional problems... and i want to encourage them to take the chance to give God the OK to work, and to HOLD ON. Because once we give that OK to God, he is going to work, and it will be an intense ride. There will be changes you might not like, there will be things you see about yourself that you will hate, there will be times where you want to jump off the ride... BUT Hold strong, HOLD on.. because the end results will be glorious.. I am soooo excited to see what else this year holds for me.. I've only been here a month and half.. and already the things I see.. Some of these changes have been there for a while.. BUT its the first time seeing them.. and that is the amazing thing.. I'm letting God show me things.... letting Him work, even when I dont like it... and its a WOW thing. Just like the worship.. Its a WOW. God is here in Korea, and God is working. Even when the seas are stormy, they had to be stormy, for God to show himself to his disciples... we often don't see things if our eyes aren't open (oh, i just got yesterdays sermon on the seeds more.. well at least God's using parables)... We need to have our eyes opened. Perhaps that is why the bad things happen.. we need to have our eyes open.. and God works even in those times. He has control over the WHOLE story. And yes, kike Job, sometime the devil gets his hands into our lives.. or we mess up, and let him.. BUT GOD USES THAT! He can make all things good :)
ah, its good to see this.. and feel this..
(oh and if you are wondering why I had time to write so much.. i only have 2 classes on Monday, and I finished next weeks lesson already, and I didnt want to start lesson 4.. and I felt like writing... )
:)

week, before my weekend

Hi! I am going to send out an update before my weekend, because I am at school, with no more classes for the rest of the day, and its only 12 :):):):):):) and if I am at school, I can type without Kay trying to eat my fingers.
So my week was pretty uneventful. I was super tired on monday, after my lovely busy weekend. And i guess I may not be getting enough sleep here in Korea.. or my body is just wanting more sleep.. because I always look tired. This week was filled with teachers asking me if I was ok.. or I was feeling alright.
Right now I need to ask you guys for your prayers, but not just for me. I need you guys to pray for Vernon and Kirsten. They are the super great couple that has let me join them on their last few tourist stops before they were to leave in December. Kirsten is the woman who has pretty much helped me through my rough spots here in Korea, some I dont feel bad about venting too. Please pray, because on Wednesday Vernon was hospitalized with a very major brain hemorrage. This is in God's hands though. we can see how he is working in this difficult situation, no matter what.
Pray for healing, and pray for wisdom for Kirsten with the decisions she has to make, as they are now going to be in Korea at least until Febuary, and there are a lot of decisions that need to be made, and lot of hard questions that have answers being searched for. We are going one hour at a time now. Thankfully its no longer one moment at a time...
For those who know me well, you know that most often my heart bleeds for those who are hurting... i hurt along with them. My thursday was hard, because my thoughts were on Vernon and Kirsten the whole time.. didnt want to be teaching.. or planning lessons...
I am very thankful that Kirsten is willing to call me when she just needs someone to be there. I might not be WHO she wants, but I am there for her... :)
So now its my friday, no more classes for the day which is awesome. i should do some work... and i think i should be able to focus today.
I dont have ANY plans for this weekend.. I am just going to sleep and just chill with Kay, and go to church on Sunday... i hope to be able to talk to people... my Skpye will be signed in
Please Pray! and Kay is doing well, we are getting her potty trained outside, which is awesome.. now we just have to figure out how to do the indoor thing.... which ISN'T going so well.
Thanks for all the thoughts guys... and for encouraging notes, and all the arrow prayers that i know are sent at random times when you might think of me.

week 6

So I haven't blogged for a while... or thats what it feels like for me.

  Kay is super great to have around.  She's someone to come home to, and she loves me a lot, and is SUPER cute.. but is also a lot of work.  we have gotten the pooping on the puppy mat downpat, but not the peeing.. and thats what i want (yes, i feel like a mum because all i can talk about it my baby, and she keeps me awake often).  She is sleeping downstairs by herself, but that means that I usually wake up to some puddles.. I am debating leaving her in the bathroom at night, but I think that would be a lot of stress, for both of us... she went into her crate tonight with the door shut after peeing on the floor.. and she DID NOT like that.

So things in my life OTHER then Kay.

Well, I am becoming more and more like a teacher (its taken me a month, but we will see what happens with what I am about to do).  I am working on making themes for the month, for example our first month will be introductions.. and then from there a lesson for the week.  For my grade ones I have 45 min, and with my grade 2's I have about 20 min.   Which is cool.. now we just have to hope that the students learn from it, and that I can make good enough lessons :P

  This week at school was super long feeling for me.  I was just tired and wanted time to work on the lessons that I was creating.. I'll give an example of stress... there was a meeting on Thursday of the english teachers at the school.  This meeting was in Korean, but they wanted me there.. so I had to sit there and listen to the first bit while I really wanted to go work on my lesson.  Then BANG "Melanie, what do you want to tell us about making your teaching better".. my answer was Um, I have to think of this.. but NOOOOOO they needed me to answer then.. so I said nothing (i really couldn't think of anything and still can't).. and before that, I guess they were talking about me and such.. saying that my teaching and confidence has improved since I've gotten Kay.. I don't think its JUST Kay.. because I have been here a month now.. and I've accepted my situation.. I'm ok here, heck, I'm even ok with the losing of contact with friends... (slowly, but yes.. there are season, and Dad I already knew that.. its still frustrating).

   OH! I've also started learning Korean, I go to class on Thursday nights with a whole lot of foreigners.. i have to study this week!! (thats a note to myself)... Its HARD!! the sounds are so different, and every time I try to speak it, it sounds like I am speaking french or spanish... but Korean is NOT supposed to be like that.  So more studying, and I will learn this.

Another more Korean Mel thing.. I am going to start getting the lunches here at school... yep.. Korean food daily.. Mel using chop-sticks daily.. and there will be days when I can just eat the rice.. but I will bring snacks with me.. and then i can just eat bread for dinner :)

  Oh.. I turned 22 on Saturday.

My birthday here involved getting up at 8 from my doggy... and then talking to my family for a long nice time, and a quick chat with the people in Hamilton.. which it would have been nicer if it was longer.  But they were kind enough to go and try Korean food (after i sent them a list, and felt like i may have guilt-ed them into it)..  Then I was picked up by the head teacher of my office, Mrs. Hmm, and she took me to her home in Yogisan.. really high end housing etc.  She and her daughter and I went out for lunch to a Pasta place, and then we went for ice cream.. and then came home and watched some of National Treasure and napped... then played Rummy (i am still awful at that game, and it made me miss cold noodles and Ranch dressing) and another game.  By then I was just emotionally exhausted.. its hard when the teacher doesnt speak english well, at least her daughter did :)... and I just wanted to go home and be with Kay.. and you know, let a few tears out because i was tired, and i missed being at home for my birthday... well, missed my family.. but not really the whole shin-ding about birthdays... So then I was home by 8, grabbed some ice cream from the shop downstairs and watched some mythbusters (new favorite show to watch).. then went to bed.

   Sunday involved a trip to Dongdaymun... SHOPPPPING! I didnt take any pictures because it was CRAZY.  Its super hard to explain.. but lets say that it was about 8 blocks of outdoor shopping.. on both sides of the street, and all of it SUPER cheap!  Like i bought 3 long sleeve shirts 2 North Face, and one NIKE for only 15,000 won (which is 15 dollars).. a pair of Uug boots for 20,000 won (20 dollars),  a cute bag for 10, 000 won (10 dollars), and 4 pairs of socks for 2,000 won (2 dollars).. the most expensive thing of the day was food and travel :P

But what was so crazy about it was the amount of PEOPLE and the lack of space... and for those who don't know.. I hate small spaces and large crowds.. then mix them together, and its freaky.. and then add some funny smells everyone and a while.. and yeah.. so super intense.  You defintaly get pushed and shoved everywhere, and thats normal.. like you have to do it to get anywhere.. and so thats why pictures were impossible.. one could not stop and stand still for long... 

So i was rather exhausted again.. but that was a nice day, what could have been called my birthday in Canada... spent with new friends. and now cuddling with Kay.. aka, Puddles....

   Thank you to those who remembered my birthday (and let me know that you did)... 

and thanks again for all the thoughts that come my way... there will still be rough days, and those bad days that will just get over-emphasied... but I am getting much more at home here.  I dont think i will call them roots.. but its not a daily battle with myself here.. the shock is wearing off.. which is great.

    I miss everyone muchly.. and I wont say I am counting down until I can come home.. but I am counting down till school is out for winter break, and super hoping that Mom and Dad can come to Korea to visit.. because it might make it harder, but it will help, because then I can share "my Korea" with some people, directly... not just through my notes.. because it doesn't do it justice

  (kay is snoring right now, but she would say bye if she was awake)