not too long ago...

I know it hasn't been as long with waiting BUT I have time at work :)
So, last time I wrote, things were going great.
And the good news is that school wise, things are still going great.. The new students have so much energy, and really like the stuff that I have been teaching them. And the grade 2's are still in shock of becoming a mixed class, so they are not acting out, and seem to be interested in what I am teaching them.
The bad news is that personally, the last few days have been kinda difficult. And the hardest thing, is that I really can't put my finger on what it is. I am really tired all the time, and sometimes just really fustrated.
Wednesday I was just really tired, and just felt funny, like tired of being in Korea, and just needed to cry.. I wasn't homesick.. but just didnt want to be in Korea... I needed some English speaking.. and English surroundings. Thankfully the weather was really really beautiful and Kay and I were able to go for a nice walk. And then Huong and I went for an even longer walk... so I was able to talk abit about what I was feeling, and just walk out the fustration. I had hoped that the walking might cure it, but I guess I was wrong.
On Thursday I ended up having a tear up day at school, and I hadn't had one of those in AGES.. so it kinda sucked... it seems that my bodies first response when someone asks how I am, is to cry, hoping that the tears will freak them out and they will leave me alone.
Thats something that hasn't been happening now in the new office, I don't get left alone as much.. so maybe that might be it? Just feeling like my personal space is always being stepped in here. Like you know, when you say "i have to be somewhere tonight, and I really dont feel like staying late for something", in Canada its usually taken at that, and they dont wait around trying to make you change your mind. If you have plans they really should just let you be! Not try to tell you that you should still go!

Then friday, my bubble got bugged again. I was preparing for class, and one of the new teachers, who I have had some trouble with, comes and asks some questions.. which I was glad to help with BUT she started the converstation ALL wrong.. starting with mentioning that she heard I cried a little at lunch is NOT a good converstation starter... so then i was a little bothered by that one. We had maybe 20 min before class, and I figured she would head to her office, and I would meet her at the classroom.. but i was wrong.. instead she decided to wait around... i had to tell her that I needed to go to the bathroom.. because she almost followed me out the door, wondering where I was going.. (the converstation had ended by then...) THEN we get to the class, and this teacher is NOT GOOD at discipline.. and the kids were being loud and rowdy, so first I spoke to them.. and started the lesson.. This teacher also does NOT translate anything that I say in class.... So i dont know if my students are getting it.
We did a worksheet so I could try and see if they understood... thankfully they did.. BUT they were getting really loud while we were doing the worksheet, and I was getting really tired of NO TRANSLATING, and NO DISCIPLINE... so i stepped up
... yep.. I yelled in a tone the students have never heard. They have heard me raise my voice before, but they had never heard anger in my voice like there was that time. They needed it though. The shock in most of the students faces showed that they didnt expect it. At least it made them quite.
The down side is this incident really made the week feel even worse...

At least this weekend I got out of the house. Friday night I had dinner with Huong, and then we did some grocery shopping.. it was getting out of the house, but not doing something to big and draining.
Saturday Kay woke me up bright and early, and we cleaned the house, went for a walk, and then relaxed. In the afternoon, like at 2, I left to go to Seoul. Our plans there were to go to a soccer game at the World Cup Stadium, to see Seoul FC at 5 pm.. it was GREAT! the stadium was super cool! We bought the 20 dollar seats, and sat 8 rows from the front of the seats.. nice and close to the field. We were sitting right behind the home bench.. BUT we made the mistake of sitting in the away team "rich person" seats. Yet it didnt matter, we cheered for Seoul FC anyways. We're waygookins... they are going to look at us funny anyways... so might as well cheer as loud as we wanted and do what we wanted.. since they thought we were crazy anyways.
After the soccer game, we were supposed to meet up with some friends, for a birthday gathering. Supper at 8 pm and me dont get a long :P
With the last few days being sucky, and me being so tired, by 8 I was exhausted. And then having to wait till 9:30 for my supper to get there, and then not being hungry, and just tired... well, you can see that it wasn't great. And then the hour and half subway ride... NOT FUN! I was super tired and just a little cranky. I let kay just sleep downstairs by herself on saturday night, so that she could just let me sleep.. and leave me alone.
I got to sleep in till 8.. which was great.... but I was still tired and exhausted feeling. Went to church, and then had a nice lunch with some friends from church. Then came home and slept a lot more, and went to bed at 10:30 and slept straight till 7... (i still worry that something is wrong with me)

Monday came with gross clouds and greyish/yellow skies. This is the "lovely" Korean phenomon known as "yellow sand". Mhmm.. what happens is that on windy days, the sand from the deserts in China is picked up and blown into Korea. These sand particles also carry lots of nasty micro-organisms that can make a lot of people sick. I bought a mask, just to avoid getting sick or anything.. so here's hoping it will help.
I also woke up this morning just feeling tired still.. BUT i have been praying today, just to get over this feeling. And perhaps another reason this feeling is here, is because I have been here 6 months now... (YIKES).... and maybe I am a little unsure about how I feel about all of this.. like leaving in 6 months.. because with school during the week, Time FLIES! and people are leaving soon already... so we talking about what it will be like being at home... and who knows.. i might be a little worried about that already.

Well, here's hoping that this week goes better! School is great, remember that! Its me personally, that has been feeling a little rough.. So if you guys could help with just praying for peace here.. that would be great.....
lots of love from korea